It's been awhile since I've made a post here. I had a lot going on in life, including running two half marathons. I was also a little burned-out from doing the challenge, so I took a little break. Yesterday, I decided to get back into it.
On the way home from work, I stopped at Metcalfes by West Towne. I saw this woman that was smiling and she just looked like such a warm and friendly person, that I had to talk to her. We talked for a little bit and I found out that she's a nurse. She just recently moved to Madison. I found that the smile didn't lie: she was actually quite friendly. I also felt really comfortable talking to her, and said as much to her. She said she felt the same way. I told her that we should talk again and asked her for her number, which she gave to me.
After all my time away from doing the challenges, this was a great way to get back into it.
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
Thursday, November 7, 2013
November 6, 2013
I stopped off at Metcalfes by West Towne on the way home. I approached this woman and talked to her for a bit. I found out that she works in project management. We talked for a bit about being social and meeting people that way. She was very friendly. I thought about asking her for her number, but ultimately I didn't. I wasn't that motivated to ask.
November 5, 2013
I approached a woman in HyVee. I found out that she is a scientist, but she really didn't tell me what she did. When I asked her to explain, she said to google it, because she's busy.
I don't remember her name, and I don't feel bad about that, because someone with that kind of miserable personality doesn't deserve to have their name remembered.
I don't remember her name, and I don't feel bad about that, because someone with that kind of miserable personality doesn't deserve to have their name remembered.
Monday, November 4, 2013
November 3, 2013
I approached a woman at HyVee and I could see that she was kinda taken aback. So I mentioned that and she said it was weird for a random person to just come up to her and start having a conversation. So I said to her, "it is weird, but should it really be weird for people to be friendly to each other? And what does that say about our society when being friendly is weird?" She brushed that off. However, she did soften enough so that I could have a conversation with her. I found out that she works in IT. Normally, I would relate to that and talk about it, but this conversation was so labored because she just wasn't willing to go with it. When that happens, the conversation basically just turns into a lot of work to maintain it.
Saturday, November 2, 2013
November 2, 2013
I met two women at Barnes & Noble today. The first one, I tried talking to, but she seemed really shy and just kinda walked away.
The second one I had a really great conversation with. I found out that she's a lawyer and talked to her for awhile about that and about the challenge and meeting new people and things like that. We probably talked for 10-15 minutes in the store.
The second one I had a really great conversation with. I found out that she's a lawyer and talked to her for awhile about that and about the challenge and meeting new people and things like that. We probably talked for 10-15 minutes in the store.
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
End of month update
I haven't posted in a few days because things have been rather busy. I was preparing to run the Haunted Hustle Half Marathon and worked on getting my costume ready for that. I have been doing approaches most days, but nothing really noteworthy that has made me want to get on and update about it. I'll come back strong in November.
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
October 22, 2013
I did 2 approaches today. The first one was at Barnes & Noble. There weren't many people there, so I talked to this older blond woman. I introduced myself and she seemed like she was taken aback. She told me her name and then I asked her what she does. She said she's not interested. So I asked her: "Not interested in what, conversation?" She said yeah. I said, okay then.
The second approach was later that evening at HyVee. I talked to a woman that's a nurse. We talked for a bit, but from her body language I could see that she was trying to go, so I let her go.
Not a banner day for talking to people, but that happens sometimes.
The second approach was later that evening at HyVee. I talked to a woman that's a nurse. We talked for a bit, but from her body language I could see that she was trying to go, so I let her go.
Not a banner day for talking to people, but that happens sometimes.
Monday, October 21, 2013
October 21, 2013
It's been awhile since I've updated. Not a lot has been going on, though. I've been approaching, but really nothing worth writing about.
However, today I met a woman that's from Lebanon. I was in Metcalfes @ West Towne on the way home from work and talked to her for a bit. She's here in Madison for a little while to study at the university. She doesn't have a number here in Madison, but I got her email, because I'd like to get together with her again so I can hear about what life is like in Lebanon.
However, today I met a woman that's from Lebanon. I was in Metcalfes @ West Towne on the way home from work and talked to her for a bit. She's here in Madison for a little while to study at the university. She doesn't have a number here in Madison, but I got her email, because I'd like to get together with her again so I can hear about what life is like in Lebanon.
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
October 16, 2013
I had a great conversation tonight with a woman I met at HyVee. I found out that she works in a lab. She couldn't tell me much about it, because it's top secret. Hush hush kinda stuff.
It was cool, because she actually asked me questions about approaching her like that. It so rarely happens that someone will actually ask questions like that. Usually, I have to completely drive the conversation. So, that was nice. She seemed to genuinely think that the challenge was a cool idea, and we talked about that for several minutes.
It's conversations like this that make doing the challenge worthwhile.
It was cool, because she actually asked me questions about approaching her like that. It so rarely happens that someone will actually ask questions like that. Usually, I have to completely drive the conversation. So, that was nice. She seemed to genuinely think that the challenge was a cool idea, and we talked about that for several minutes.
It's conversations like this that make doing the challenge worthwhile.
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
Update 1:
So tonight I went out with the woman I met at Michael's on Sunday. We played mini golf, then went to Noodles & Company. I had a lot of fun. She's one of those quirky/nerdy/fun girls that I tend to like. Spending time with her was easy, there was no awkwardness or nervousness or anything, it was just natural.
October 15, 2013
I stopped off at Metcalfe's on the way home from work and I approached this one woman. I introduced myself, then asked what she did, and she said she was looking for stuff to make chili. I said that this looked like the right aisle, then asked what she does when she isn't looking for chili. She said "oh, a little of this and a little of that." At this point, I can tell she's kinda meh, so I jump in with the "oh, well I like talking to people and being friendly, so I hope this wasn't too jarring." And she said "oh, that's cool, I'm just really focused on this." So I told her I'd leave her to it. I didn't really care, I had a date tonight anyway. Update to follow!
Monday, October 14, 2013
October 14, 2013
I was off today, due to the federal holiday, but I didn't really go out to approach much. I stopped by HyVee to get a few things and I talked to this woman that is a yoga instructor. She was really friendly. I also found out that she was a runner, so we talked about running for a little bit and I gave her one of my running group cards.
Weekend update:
Since I didn't do daily updates for Saturday and Sunday, I'll combine them into one. I only did one approach each day, so there's not much to report about.
Saturday evening, I talked to this woman in HyVee. I found out that she's a chemist. She was also into running, so we had something in common there. We talked about that for a bit. I also mentioned my challenge, because she looked a little skeptical when I first approached her, then when I explained it, I could see her expression soften. I thought we had a pretty good conversation, so I tried to get her number. She turned me down.
Sunday afternoon, I went to Michael's to get some stuff to work on my Halloween costume. Specifically, I needed some scissors or something that would cut vinyl. I talked to this young woman that worked there and asked her what she thought would work best. She checked with some coworkers and they decided that a rolling razor thing would work best. Then I was explaining to her what it was for, and she thought the costume was a cool idea. She was cute, so I asked her what she was doing. We talked for a little bit and I found out she's into some nerdy stuff like steampunk and anime. She also seemed really sweet. Cute and sweet is usually a great combination. So, I kept asked her stuff about her, like what she does for fun, things like that. At one point she had to go check on something, so I said: "well, maybe I'll talk to you again when you're done checking on that." She left and then came back like a minute later, saying that apparently she didn't have to do that. I also asked her what would be the best way to paint on fabric, so she showed me a few things. This was also to keep the conversation going, since I liked talking to her. A woman came up and asked her where to find something, so she showed the woman and then came back to talk. I figured this was a good opportunity, so I said I would let her get back to work, but I wanted to talk to her again, so I asked her for her number. She gave me her number and I texted her a little bit later. She texted back and I playfully said "hey, shouldn't you be working!" She said she was on break and we were joking about me getting her in trouble. We texted quite a bit last night and then some this morning and we're already working on plans to hang out.
Saturday evening, I talked to this woman in HyVee. I found out that she's a chemist. She was also into running, so we had something in common there. We talked about that for a bit. I also mentioned my challenge, because she looked a little skeptical when I first approached her, then when I explained it, I could see her expression soften. I thought we had a pretty good conversation, so I tried to get her number. She turned me down.
Sunday afternoon, I went to Michael's to get some stuff to work on my Halloween costume. Specifically, I needed some scissors or something that would cut vinyl. I talked to this young woman that worked there and asked her what she thought would work best. She checked with some coworkers and they decided that a rolling razor thing would work best. Then I was explaining to her what it was for, and she thought the costume was a cool idea. She was cute, so I asked her what she was doing. We talked for a little bit and I found out she's into some nerdy stuff like steampunk and anime. She also seemed really sweet. Cute and sweet is usually a great combination. So, I kept asked her stuff about her, like what she does for fun, things like that. At one point she had to go check on something, so I said: "well, maybe I'll talk to you again when you're done checking on that." She left and then came back like a minute later, saying that apparently she didn't have to do that. I also asked her what would be the best way to paint on fabric, so she showed me a few things. This was also to keep the conversation going, since I liked talking to her. A woman came up and asked her where to find something, so she showed the woman and then came back to talk. I figured this was a good opportunity, so I said I would let her get back to work, but I wanted to talk to her again, so I asked her for her number. She gave me her number and I texted her a little bit later. She texted back and I playfully said "hey, shouldn't you be working!" She said she was on break and we were joking about me getting her in trouble. We texted quite a bit last night and then some this morning and we're already working on plans to hang out.
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
October 9, 2013
I ran on the UW campus tonight with my group, so I got there a little early to work on the challenge. I ended up talking to a freshman that's studying chemistry. I didn't talk to her that long because I had to get going to the run, and because she's a freshman. She was nice, though.
I got a bit of a bonus as I was on the way from the run. I talked to this woman in line at HyVee. She said she goes there pretty much every day. I was like "wow, I'm surprised I haven't seen you, because I come here almost every day, too." Then I told her about the challenge, which she thought was a cool idea.
I got a bit of a bonus as I was on the way from the run. I talked to this woman in line at HyVee. She said she goes there pretty much every day. I was like "wow, I'm surprised I haven't seen you, because I come here almost every day, too." Then I told her about the challenge, which she thought was a cool idea.
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
October 8, 2013
I did two approaches today, since I didn't go run.
On the way home, I stopped off at Metcalfes @ West Towne and I kept seeing this woman every where I went, so I figured that meant I should talk to her. I jokingly asked her if she was following me around, because I kept seeing her wherever I went. Then I introduced myself and asked her what she did. We talked for a little bit and I found out she had a kid, because most of the things she does in her spare time involves the kid.
Also on the way home, I stopped at HyVee. Yes, I went to two grocery stores on the way home. There's things I like at both. And it wasn't just to meet people at both stores- that was just a bonus! Anyway, there weren't a whole lot of people to approach, but I saw this one woman, so I went up to her and said she looked like a nice person and introduced myself. I could see that she looked a little taken aback, so I asked her about it. She said that it seemed a little weird, and I explained that it is weird for a stranger to just start talking to another stranger, but it shouldn't be weird. Then she was like "well, I just wonder if there's some ulterior motive." So I asked her why she would just assume the worst, why I had to have some ulterior motive. She said she was just used to that. Which, is sad, if you think about it. Anyway, I talked to her for a bit, but I could tell she was taken aback by the conversation, so it didn't really go anywhere. Still, it was interesting.
On the way home, I stopped off at Metcalfes @ West Towne and I kept seeing this woman every where I went, so I figured that meant I should talk to her. I jokingly asked her if she was following me around, because I kept seeing her wherever I went. Then I introduced myself and asked her what she did. We talked for a little bit and I found out she had a kid, because most of the things she does in her spare time involves the kid.
Also on the way home, I stopped at HyVee. Yes, I went to two grocery stores on the way home. There's things I like at both. And it wasn't just to meet people at both stores- that was just a bonus! Anyway, there weren't a whole lot of people to approach, but I saw this one woman, so I went up to her and said she looked like a nice person and introduced myself. I could see that she looked a little taken aback, so I asked her about it. She said that it seemed a little weird, and I explained that it is weird for a stranger to just start talking to another stranger, but it shouldn't be weird. Then she was like "well, I just wonder if there's some ulterior motive." So I asked her why she would just assume the worst, why I had to have some ulterior motive. She said she was just used to that. Which, is sad, if you think about it. Anyway, I talked to her for a bit, but I could tell she was taken aback by the conversation, so it didn't really go anywhere. Still, it was interesting.
Monday, October 7, 2013
October 7, 2013
Today was pretty funny. I stopped in Metcalfes @ West Towne on the way home from work and didn't see anyone to approach. As I was leaving, I saw a woman that I work with, so I went over to talk to her. We were talking about my challenge and breaking up with the girlfriend and I saw a woman to approach. When we were done, I went and talked to her. My work friend said she might watch from afar.
The woman I approached was really friendly. I found out that she's a social worker and that she's always been into helping people. We talked about her hobbies and she is a person that kinda just does whatever fancies her in the moment. I thought that was really cool, because I am pretty much the same way. I talked to her for a bit more and got her number.
The woman I approached was really friendly. I found out that she's a social worker and that she's always been into helping people. We talked about her hobbies and she is a person that kinda just does whatever fancies her in the moment. I thought that was really cool, because I am pretty much the same way. I talked to her for a bit more and got her number.
Weekend update
I am going to lump Saturday and Sunday's updates into one.
On Saturday, I talked to this woman in HyVee. She said she was in a hurry, but thanked me for introducing myself.
On Sunday, I talked to a woman on State Street. There was some event going on, so I was asking her about that.
On Saturday, I talked to this woman in HyVee. She said she was in a hurry, but thanked me for introducing myself.
On Sunday, I talked to a woman on State Street. There was some event going on, so I was asking her about that.
Friday, October 4, 2013
October 4, 2013
At Hyvee tonight I met a really nice woman. I talked with her for awhile and was pleasantly surprised with how nice she is. I found out that she recently moved here from Ames, Iowa. She likes reading and movies. She wants to get into social work, because she has a degree in psychology. It was a great conversation and I hope we get to talk again.
Update 4: Final update on Pensacola shirt girl
So Pensacola shirt girl decided she wanted to end our relationship. Ultimately, it came down to the fact that she's religious and I'm not, and she couldn't deal with that fact.
I'm okay with this. For a few weeks now, I've had a lingering feeling that she didn't get me as a person. She's sweet, but very quiet and there was something missing. I feel like this is the best thing that could happen.
I'm okay with this. For a few weeks now, I've had a lingering feeling that she didn't get me as a person. She's sweet, but very quiet and there was something missing. I feel like this is the best thing that could happen.
Thursday, October 3, 2013
October 3, 2013
Today I approached a woman at Shopko. I talked to her for a little bit. She was nice, but not very talky, so the conversation didn't go anywhere. She works in sales, so she did appreciate that I went up to a random stranger and just started talking.
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
October 2, 2013
Tonight I had a really great conversation. I approached a woman in HyVee and we talked for probably 15-20 minutes. It was mostly about teaching (she's a teacher and I used to) and how as a society we have become more isolated. We talked about how people don't talk to each other as much as they used to, and people just aren't that friendly and open with strangers.
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
October 1, 2013
I started the month off on a good note. I met a nice woman at HyVee. I found out that she's a teacher that teachers a few different skill levels, which is something I can relate to. We talked about moving to Madison, because she had recently moved here and I still remember what that was like. She was very friendly and we had a great conversation. September didn't end well, but at least October started out well.
Sunday, September 29, 2013
Update
I haven't written anything in the past few days because I haven't really done any approaches in the past few days. Thursday and Friday I was feeling a bit under the weather, so I didn't bother approaching. It didn't help that I was on-call for work and thus didn't go out much.
I must say, though, that I have lost interest in doing the challenge somewhat. I don't know what it is, but it feels contrived or like my heart isn't in it. And a lot of the thrill is gone, because it's not really a challenge anymore. The only challenge is logistics: finding time to try to approach and finding someone I want to approach.
Initially, I thought September was going to be a fun month. I had plans of using song titles as opening lines and thought that would be really fun. Then, I got in a relationship and that threw the challenge in a flux. I still did the challenge, but I thought I would feel weird about approaching women that way while being in a relationship. So, I kept it neutral. If I had a good conversation with a woman, I wouldn't ask her for her number, instead I would give her one of my cards that has a link to this site and my facebook page. Of course, that means never hearing from them again, because I don't think any of the people I give my card to actually look at this blog. I've given this blog to people I know that haven't even read it, so why would a stranger?
I thought there was something really worthwhile in this challenge, that's one of the things that drove me at the start when I was really nervous talking to people. I thought that when I told people about it, they would share that excitement and it would be cool. However, I've found that few people actually really think it's cool. And I don't even hear from those people again.
In order to get the challenge back on track and actually make it a challenge again, there are two ways I could go with this: approaching multiple women at a time, and approaching guys. With multiple women, I've avoided that, because it just seems easier and maybe more authentic if it's a one-on-one interaction. With approaching men, I guess there's a part of me that thinks it's weird for men to approach men like that, even if it is neutral. Inevitably, though, I know I'm going to have to go there, in the interest of personal evolution.
I haven't given up on the challenge, I just had to really think about where it's going. I know I can get it back on track. I will come up with something for October that will be fun and challenging. If you've gotten this far and you want to help, either leave a comment or email me with ideas.
Thank you!
Will
I must say, though, that I have lost interest in doing the challenge somewhat. I don't know what it is, but it feels contrived or like my heart isn't in it. And a lot of the thrill is gone, because it's not really a challenge anymore. The only challenge is logistics: finding time to try to approach and finding someone I want to approach.
Initially, I thought September was going to be a fun month. I had plans of using song titles as opening lines and thought that would be really fun. Then, I got in a relationship and that threw the challenge in a flux. I still did the challenge, but I thought I would feel weird about approaching women that way while being in a relationship. So, I kept it neutral. If I had a good conversation with a woman, I wouldn't ask her for her number, instead I would give her one of my cards that has a link to this site and my facebook page. Of course, that means never hearing from them again, because I don't think any of the people I give my card to actually look at this blog. I've given this blog to people I know that haven't even read it, so why would a stranger?
I thought there was something really worthwhile in this challenge, that's one of the things that drove me at the start when I was really nervous talking to people. I thought that when I told people about it, they would share that excitement and it would be cool. However, I've found that few people actually really think it's cool. And I don't even hear from those people again.
In order to get the challenge back on track and actually make it a challenge again, there are two ways I could go with this: approaching multiple women at a time, and approaching guys. With multiple women, I've avoided that, because it just seems easier and maybe more authentic if it's a one-on-one interaction. With approaching men, I guess there's a part of me that thinks it's weird for men to approach men like that, even if it is neutral. Inevitably, though, I know I'm going to have to go there, in the interest of personal evolution.
I haven't given up on the challenge, I just had to really think about where it's going. I know I can get it back on track. I will come up with something for October that will be fun and challenging. If you've gotten this far and you want to help, either leave a comment or email me with ideas.
Thank you!
Will
Thursday, September 26, 2013
September 26, 2013
So I have to admit that I had started to let my recent run of unfriendly people rain on my parade a little bit. I was slowly losing interest in my challenge. However, I decided to persist. Today, I met a woman that was really friendly. I found out that she just recently moved to town for a job as a statistician. She also likes running and biking, which I can appreciate. It was a really nice conversation, which definitely reignited my interest in my challenge.
It just further points out that if you don't give up, you never know what will be just around the corner.
It just further points out that if you don't give up, you never know what will be just around the corner.
September 25, 2013
While I was at HyVee yesterday, I passed by a woman and we exchanged smiles. I saw her again later on and commented that she had a nice smile. I introduced myself, but the conversation didn't really go anywhere. At least she was nice.
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
September 24, 2013
I saw a woman at HyVee that looked interesting, so I went and talked to her. I introduced myself and asked her for her name. Then I asked her what she does and she mumbled something that I couldn't understand and walked away. As she was walking away, I said "OK...."
Monday, September 23, 2013
September 23, 2013
I am on-call this week, so I didn't have much time to try to approach. I saw a woman in HyVee and talked to her very briefly. I found out that she's from Indonesia. I was in a bit of a hurry, because I wanted to get in a run tonight, so the conversation was very brief. At least she was nice.
Saturday, September 21, 2013
September 21, 2013
Today I talked to a woman at HyVee. I found out that she works at a restaurant. We talked about that, and how it offers her the opportunity to meet a lot of new people. I talked about the challenge that I'm doing, and she thought it was a cool idea. We talked about how it shouldn't be weird to just be friendly to people that you see in the grocery store. She was a very friendly person and I feel like after my rut of rude people, I'm on a trend of friendly ones. Hurray!
September 20, 2013
This one is a little late. Sorry about that!
I talked to a woman in Metcalfes @ West Towne. I found out that she's a student, close to getting her bachelor's degree. I told her about my challenge and my blog, and offered to give her one of my cards that has the link to my blog. She declined, saying she's not really into blogs. At the time I thought that was rude, but when I thought about it, I guess it's better than the people that take my card and never actually look at my site. At least she was honest.
I talked to a woman in Metcalfes @ West Towne. I found out that she's a student, close to getting her bachelor's degree. I told her about my challenge and my blog, and offered to give her one of my cards that has the link to my blog. She declined, saying she's not really into blogs. At the time I thought that was rude, but when I thought about it, I guess it's better than the people that take my card and never actually look at my site. At least she was honest.
Thursday, September 19, 2013
September 19, 2013
There's nothing to report from yesterday. I was feeling under the weather and didn't really get a chance to get out and try to approach. I got back into the swing of things today, though.
On the way home from work I stopped off at Metcalfe's to get something to eat for dinner. It started storming while I was there. I saw a woman that looked nice, so I figured I would talk to her and maybe pass enough time for the rain to stop. I found that she was really friendly, which was nice, considering my experiences as of late. She told me that she works in accounting, and I asked how she got into that. Then she asked what I did, so I told her. We talked for a little bit, then I told her about my challenge. She thought it was a cool idea.
It was nice to actually have a decent conversation for a change. All the ones lately have been really short, so this was nice.
On the way home from work I stopped off at Metcalfe's to get something to eat for dinner. It started storming while I was there. I saw a woman that looked nice, so I figured I would talk to her and maybe pass enough time for the rain to stop. I found that she was really friendly, which was nice, considering my experiences as of late. She told me that she works in accounting, and I asked how she got into that. Then she asked what I did, so I told her. We talked for a little bit, then I told her about my challenge. She thought it was a cool idea.
It was nice to actually have a decent conversation for a change. All the ones lately have been really short, so this was nice.
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
September 17, 2013
It was nice to talk to someone that was friendly for a change! I talked to a woman in Metcalfes at West Towne and she was actually really friendly. It was a breath of fresh air. It just goes to show you, though, that even when things aren't going your way, you never know what's around the next corner.
I asked her about what she did and then told her about my challenge. It was a nice conversation for a few minutes there. Definitely what I needed after a string of not so great conversations.
I asked her about what she did and then told her about my challenge. It was a nice conversation for a few minutes there. Definitely what I needed after a string of not so great conversations.
Monday, September 16, 2013
September 16, 2013
I almost didn't approach anyone today. I stopped off at Metcalfes and Barnes & Noble at West Towne, but there were no good opportunities. Which, was too bad, because I was wearing my suit to work today.
So, I thought, this might be the day I break my streak. However, after running tonight, I had dinner then went to HyVee to get some food for the next few days. I decided to keep the streak going, so I said hello to a woman that I was on the same aisle as. She was looking at tea, so we talked about tea. I told her I had been to a nice tea place on Friday night with my girlfriend.
That was pretty much all of the conversation.
So, I thought, this might be the day I break my streak. However, after running tonight, I had dinner then went to HyVee to get some food for the next few days. I decided to keep the streak going, so I said hello to a woman that I was on the same aisle as. She was looking at tea, so we talked about tea. I told her I had been to a nice tea place on Friday night with my girlfriend.
That was pretty much all of the conversation.
September 15, 2013
I approached a woman in HyVee and said she looked friendly. I introduced myself. Then, I asked her what she did and she said that she was actually busy, but thanks for saying hello.
I'm on quite a run now where conversations don't last even a minute. In fact, I think my last good conversation was with the older gentleman in the Florida State shirt. I wonder if part of the reason is that I'm not as enthusiastic about doing this anymore and somehow that's carrying over into how I'm approaching people and they pick up on that.
I'm on quite a run now where conversations don't last even a minute. In fact, I think my last good conversation was with the older gentleman in the Florida State shirt. I wonder if part of the reason is that I'm not as enthusiastic about doing this anymore and somehow that's carrying over into how I'm approaching people and they pick up on that.
Saturday, September 14, 2013
September 14, 2013
I introduced myself to a woman at Walmart. I found out that she's studying for a phd in economics. Thankfully, unlike the last few people I had talked to, she was actually nice.
There's not much to write about this one, as it was a very short interaction.
There's not much to write about this one, as it was a very short interaction.
Friday, September 13, 2013
September 13, 2013
I approached a woman in Metcalfe's at West Towne. I said she looked like a nice person,so I thought I would introduce myself. I asked her what she does, and she said she didn't have time, she was busy. Then she walked away.
I'm stuck in a bit of a run of really rude people. That's how things go sometimes, though.
I'm stuck in a bit of a run of really rude people. That's how things go sometimes, though.
Thursday, September 12, 2013
September 12, 2013
I approached a woman at Barnes and Noble. I went up to her and said "Hi, I don't think we've met, I'm Will." She kinda looked at me funny and said "hi." I said, "oh, sorry if that was weird, I just like talking to people and being friendly. What's your name?" She told me her name, then I asked her what she did. She said "I really just want to read this book." I saw that it was a wedding book, so I asked "oh, are you planning a wedding?" Her: "Yeah, it's for a friend." Me: "That's cool, when are they getting married." At this point, she just ignored me, so I waited a few seconds, then said "Ok." and walked away. I was really struck at how rude this woman was to someone that was trying to be friendly.
I feel like you can tell a lot about a person by how they treat random strangers. It's not someone that is in your life and that can do things for you, so kindness is truly an act of altruism (well, not entirely, because pure altruism is rare, but that's another topic.) I think people that treat strangers poorly, even if they are kind to the people in their lives, that says something about them. Somewhere, deep down, they are not as nice as they appear.
And you might retort by saying "yeah, well she said she just wanted to read the book and you kept talking to her!" True, but it's not like she was sitting somewhere reading, so was standing in the aisle. Also, during our conversation, she put the book back on the shelf. Regardless, that's no excuse to be rude to someone.
I feel like you can tell a lot about a person by how they treat random strangers. It's not someone that is in your life and that can do things for you, so kindness is truly an act of altruism (well, not entirely, because pure altruism is rare, but that's another topic.) I think people that treat strangers poorly, even if they are kind to the people in their lives, that says something about them. Somewhere, deep down, they are not as nice as they appear.
And you might retort by saying "yeah, well she said she just wanted to read the book and you kept talking to her!" True, but it's not like she was sitting somewhere reading, so was standing in the aisle. Also, during our conversation, she put the book back on the shelf. Regardless, that's no excuse to be rude to someone.
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
September 11, 2013
Today I approached a woman in Metcalfe's at West Towne. I said that she looked nice and introduced myself. She asked me why I was doing that. I told her that it's something that I do, that I set a challenge for myself to talk to at least one random person a day. She said "oh, so I'm the lucky one?" I said "yeah, you looked like a friendly person, so I thought I would talk to you. I'm sorry, I didn't get your name." Her: "oh, I'm not telling you my name." Me: "Okay" and then she walked away.
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
September 10, 2013
I approached an older gentleman at Metcalfe's at West Towne. He was wearing a Florida State shirt, so I asked him about it. I found out that his daughter was a student there and now she lives up here with her husband and their child. He still lives in Florida, but came up here to visit.
Monday, September 9, 2013
FAQs
Why did you start doing this?
There were a few reasons. Mostly, because I had thought of doing something like this for awhile and never really had the courage or motivation to do it. I finally got a few kicks to the butt and decided to get out there and do it. Those kicks to the butt were in the form of a few of my close female friends going out of my life for one reason or another. I also broke up with a girl I was seeing because she was rather selfish and nasty to me. So, there was a short period of time where the closest non-related women in my life were basically out of my life. I thought to myself: "I can sit around and be bummed about this, or turn it into motivation." So, I made that my motivation to get out there and start doing this challenge.
How was it the first time?
It was really nerve-wracking. I was incredibly nervous the first time. I was walking around the Super Target in Fitchburg, trying to work up the nerve to talk to someone. I wanted to leave, but I knew that I would regret it and feel like a failure later if I left without doing it. Also, I told myself I wasn't going to leave until I did it. I was over by the children's books, looking at a few Dr. Seuss books, when I saw a woman that looked nice. I asked her which of the two books would be better to get for my nephew. At the time, I thought I needed some kind of reason to talk to people. It's funny looking back on that, because at that time, all I needed to do for the challenge was get someone's name. Now, that would be incredibly easy to do. I've also discovered that you don't need a reason to talk to someone. You can just see someone that looks friendly and talk to them.
Have you ever had any bad reactions?
I guess that really depends on what you mean by bad reaction. There haven't been any that I've thought were bad. Nobody seemed to really take offense to it or say anything negative to me. The worst I usually get is that the person just ejects from the conversation. There was the one woman that I approached twice, and she asked me about it the second time. There was also the woman that was really taken aback that I saw again and tried explaining the challenge to her, but she was still taken aback by someone being friendly to her. That one was really weird.
How many people actually talk to you?
I would say around half the people I approach are willing to have a conversation. I've met a lot of really friendly people.
Why do you only approach women?
This is a good question, and I'm not entirely sure. I guess I feel like it would be weird for a guy to approach another guy and just start randomly talking. It shouldn't be weird, though, and at some point I will probably have a challenge where I approach guys and talk to them.
Why do you still do the challenge if you have a girlfriend?
Update: I don't have the girlfriend anymore, but I'll leave the initial answer, because it's applicable to any relationship I will be in, in the future.
Because the challenge wasn't about finding a girlfriend. That wasn't the endgame. The challenge was about growth and adventure and I'm not done with either of those. When I met her, I stopped asking for numbers and started talking more about the challenge. Now, I give out cards with links to this blog and the facebook page for it. Also, I think this is a great skill I've built, but I feel like I have to keep doing it, or I will lose my nerve.
Does she know about it?
Yes, obviously, because that's how I met her. And she thinks its cool.
How many people that you meet do you talk to afterwards?
Sadly, very few. I have a lot of great conversations and people seem to be really interested in the challenge, but then I never hear from them again. That's one thing I haven't been able to figure out. My best theory is that when I approach them, there's a bit of novelty, because that doesn't normally happen. There's an excitement to the interaction. Then, once the interaction is over and the excitement has gone down, I'm just some random guy with a website. I have to build some kind of strong connection with people to give them a strong reason to actually be willing to talk to me after the interaction. That just doesn't happen that often. Even the conversations I have that I think "wow, this is a really cool person and I'd love to talk to them again. They seem like they're really interested in my challenge, which is awesome!" I don't hear from most of them, either. If you're reading this and you're one of the people I met, drop me a line. Even if it's just to tell me some insight about this from the other side of the interaction.
What's the best interaction you've had while doing this?
It's too hard to answer that, because I've had some really good ones.
What's the longest you've talked to someone?
Around 30 minutes, to the woman I met in Barnes & Noble. It helped that she was already sitting down, so logistics worked out well.
What is the best observation you've made while doing this?
That whole "you can't judge a book by its cover" cliche has some truth to it. There's been some women I've seen where I thought "she doesn't really look that nice, but whatever, I'll approach anyway." and they led to some of my better conversations.
Has this been worth it?
Yes, absolutely! My only regret is that I didn't start doing this 10 years ago. I've noticed quite a change in myself. I went from someone that was really nervous on my first approach on May 1, to being able to talk to pretty much anyone. I'm still excited, but it's not really nervousness. These past few months have been quite the adventure.
Should I do something like this?
Yes. What reason would you have for not doing it? If your answer is "nervousness" then ask yourself if that's a good enough reason. A lot of fun things happen when you step outside your comfort zone. Fortune favors the bold!
Can I try this with you?
Actually, nobody asks me that, but I would totally go and do this with a person. In the words of Iceman, "You can be my wingman (or wingwoman) anytime!"
There were a few reasons. Mostly, because I had thought of doing something like this for awhile and never really had the courage or motivation to do it. I finally got a few kicks to the butt and decided to get out there and do it. Those kicks to the butt were in the form of a few of my close female friends going out of my life for one reason or another. I also broke up with a girl I was seeing because she was rather selfish and nasty to me. So, there was a short period of time where the closest non-related women in my life were basically out of my life. I thought to myself: "I can sit around and be bummed about this, or turn it into motivation." So, I made that my motivation to get out there and start doing this challenge.
How was it the first time?
It was really nerve-wracking. I was incredibly nervous the first time. I was walking around the Super Target in Fitchburg, trying to work up the nerve to talk to someone. I wanted to leave, but I knew that I would regret it and feel like a failure later if I left without doing it. Also, I told myself I wasn't going to leave until I did it. I was over by the children's books, looking at a few Dr. Seuss books, when I saw a woman that looked nice. I asked her which of the two books would be better to get for my nephew. At the time, I thought I needed some kind of reason to talk to people. It's funny looking back on that, because at that time, all I needed to do for the challenge was get someone's name. Now, that would be incredibly easy to do. I've also discovered that you don't need a reason to talk to someone. You can just see someone that looks friendly and talk to them.
Have you ever had any bad reactions?
I guess that really depends on what you mean by bad reaction. There haven't been any that I've thought were bad. Nobody seemed to really take offense to it or say anything negative to me. The worst I usually get is that the person just ejects from the conversation. There was the one woman that I approached twice, and she asked me about it the second time. There was also the woman that was really taken aback that I saw again and tried explaining the challenge to her, but she was still taken aback by someone being friendly to her. That one was really weird.
How many people actually talk to you?
I would say around half the people I approach are willing to have a conversation. I've met a lot of really friendly people.
Why do you only approach women?
This is a good question, and I'm not entirely sure. I guess I feel like it would be weird for a guy to approach another guy and just start randomly talking. It shouldn't be weird, though, and at some point I will probably have a challenge where I approach guys and talk to them.
Why do you still do the challenge if you have a girlfriend?
Update: I don't have the girlfriend anymore, but I'll leave the initial answer, because it's applicable to any relationship I will be in, in the future.
Because the challenge wasn't about finding a girlfriend. That wasn't the endgame. The challenge was about growth and adventure and I'm not done with either of those. When I met her, I stopped asking for numbers and started talking more about the challenge. Now, I give out cards with links to this blog and the facebook page for it. Also, I think this is a great skill I've built, but I feel like I have to keep doing it, or I will lose my nerve.
Does she know about it?
Yes, obviously, because that's how I met her. And she thinks its cool.
How many people that you meet do you talk to afterwards?
Sadly, very few. I have a lot of great conversations and people seem to be really interested in the challenge, but then I never hear from them again. That's one thing I haven't been able to figure out. My best theory is that when I approach them, there's a bit of novelty, because that doesn't normally happen. There's an excitement to the interaction. Then, once the interaction is over and the excitement has gone down, I'm just some random guy with a website. I have to build some kind of strong connection with people to give them a strong reason to actually be willing to talk to me after the interaction. That just doesn't happen that often. Even the conversations I have that I think "wow, this is a really cool person and I'd love to talk to them again. They seem like they're really interested in my challenge, which is awesome!" I don't hear from most of them, either. If you're reading this and you're one of the people I met, drop me a line. Even if it's just to tell me some insight about this from the other side of the interaction.
What's the best interaction you've had while doing this?
It's too hard to answer that, because I've had some really good ones.
What's the longest you've talked to someone?
Around 30 minutes, to the woman I met in Barnes & Noble. It helped that she was already sitting down, so logistics worked out well.
What is the best observation you've made while doing this?
That whole "you can't judge a book by its cover" cliche has some truth to it. There's been some women I've seen where I thought "she doesn't really look that nice, but whatever, I'll approach anyway." and they led to some of my better conversations.
Has this been worth it?
Yes, absolutely! My only regret is that I didn't start doing this 10 years ago. I've noticed quite a change in myself. I went from someone that was really nervous on my first approach on May 1, to being able to talk to pretty much anyone. I'm still excited, but it's not really nervousness. These past few months have been quite the adventure.
Should I do something like this?
Yes. What reason would you have for not doing it? If your answer is "nervousness" then ask yourself if that's a good enough reason. A lot of fun things happen when you step outside your comfort zone. Fortune favors the bold!
Can I try this with you?
Actually, nobody asks me that, but I would totally go and do this with a person. In the words of Iceman, "You can be my wingman (or wingwoman) anytime!"
September 9, 2013
I went for a run tonight, so I didn't have much time between work and the run to approach people.
I walked around Metcalfes @ West Towne for a bit, but didn't see anyone to approach and was running out of time. I almost bumped into this woman, so I introduced myself to her, then told her about the challenge. I told her that early, because it was a good way to keep the conversation short, as I needed to get home and get ready to run.
I walked around Metcalfes @ West Towne for a bit, but didn't see anyone to approach and was running out of time. I almost bumped into this woman, so I introduced myself to her, then told her about the challenge. I told her that early, because it was a good way to keep the conversation short, as I needed to get home and get ready to run.
Sunday, September 8, 2013
September 8, 2013
Today, I also didn't spend much time trying to approach people, because I had other stuff going on. However, while getting some food for the next few days at HyVee, I saw a woman that looked friendly, so I talked to her. I found out that she's in school to get a PhD in environmental science. I told her about my challenge and we talked about that for awhile. She seemed really interested in it, which was cool, because I love sharing with people that are genuinely interested in what I'm doing. Throughout the whole conversation, she was very friendly. I'm glad I talked to her.
September 7, 2013
I didn't really spend much time trying to approach people, because I was watching Miami beat Florida and hanging out with a few people I already know.
I met up with a friend at the Starbucks in Greenway Station. I then decided to go over to Michaels, to see if I could find a better way to hang up my "The Endless Summer" poster. I had been hanging it up using sticky-tack, but that wasn't working so well. They were selling poster frames on clearance for $6.00, so I got one. While in the store, I was on the same aisle as this nice-looking woman, so I started a conversation with her. I found out she's a preschool teacher and has kids of her own. When she shifted her hands (she was holding a basket and I couldn't see her left hand) I noticed she had a wedding ring. I didn't want her to think I was trying to pick her up or anything, so I told her about the challenge. She thought that was a pretty cool idea.
I met up with a friend at the Starbucks in Greenway Station. I then decided to go over to Michaels, to see if I could find a better way to hang up my "The Endless Summer" poster. I had been hanging it up using sticky-tack, but that wasn't working so well. They were selling poster frames on clearance for $6.00, so I got one. While in the store, I was on the same aisle as this nice-looking woman, so I started a conversation with her. I found out she's a preschool teacher and has kids of her own. When she shifted her hands (she was holding a basket and I couldn't see her left hand) I noticed she had a wedding ring. I didn't want her to think I was trying to pick her up or anything, so I told her about the challenge. She thought that was a pretty cool idea.
Friday, September 6, 2013
September 6, 2013
I had an interesting time in Metcalfe's @ West Towne today when I stopped there on the way home from work. I ran into a coworker in there and started talking to her. I was telling her the story of how I met the ladyfriend while we walked around and shopped. Well, she was shopping. I tried to get her to do the challenge with me, but she didn't want do, even though she cleverly noticed that as a team we could be called Will and Grace. I saw a woman that we could approach in the produce section, but she had to get going. So, we said goodbye and I went to approach the woman on my own.
I introduced myself and asked her what she did. I found out that she works in investments. I also found out that she studied psychology, which was interesting, because I studied both math and psychology in college. We talked about her hobbies. She asked me if I was new in town and I said "why do you ask, because I came up to you and started talking to you like this?" She said yeah, and I told her about my 30-day challenges. I gave her my card so that she could check out my blog. I'm glad I talked to her, she was a really friendly person.
I introduced myself and asked her what she did. I found out that she works in investments. I also found out that she studied psychology, which was interesting, because I studied both math and psychology in college. We talked about her hobbies. She asked me if I was new in town and I said "why do you ask, because I came up to you and started talking to you like this?" She said yeah, and I told her about my 30-day challenges. I gave her my card so that she could check out my blog. I'm glad I talked to her, she was a really friendly person.
Thursday, September 5, 2013
September 5, 2013
Three approaches to write about today:
The first one was on the way home from work, when I stopped in Metcalfe's @ West Towne. I talked to this nice woman for a few minutes about what she does for work and for fun. I told her about my challenge, and she seemed to think it was a cool idea.
The second approach was kind of an accidental approach. I was standing around at the Arboretum after a run and this woman was walking through the parking lot and I said hello and asked how she was doing. She asked if we were a run gang, and we started talking about running. I told her about the group and that we have a group for beginners that has just started up. I gave her my run group card and she told me how serendipitous this was, which has been a general theme for her lately. At one point she remarked how funny it was to just talk to a random stranger and then that kind of connection happens and I said "well, talking to strangers is kinda what I do." Then, I told her about my challenge. She thought it was pretty cool, so I gave her my card for that as well.
The last approach was when I stopped at HyVee after the run to get some food for tomorrow. I wasn't really planning on approaching anyone, since it was late and usually there's not many people in the store that late. As I was about to walk down an aisle, I saw a woman there and decided to talk to her. She looked friendly enough, so why not. I found out she's studying to be a teacher, so we talked about that for awhile, since as you might remember, I used to be a teacher. Then we talked for a bit about hobbies. I found out that she cross country skis and she's a runner, which I can certainly appreciate. I told her about the challenge and she really seemed to like the idea.
All-in-all this was a great day for challenges. I met three really friendly people, which is always nice.
The first one was on the way home from work, when I stopped in Metcalfe's @ West Towne. I talked to this nice woman for a few minutes about what she does for work and for fun. I told her about my challenge, and she seemed to think it was a cool idea.
The second approach was kind of an accidental approach. I was standing around at the Arboretum after a run and this woman was walking through the parking lot and I said hello and asked how she was doing. She asked if we were a run gang, and we started talking about running. I told her about the group and that we have a group for beginners that has just started up. I gave her my run group card and she told me how serendipitous this was, which has been a general theme for her lately. At one point she remarked how funny it was to just talk to a random stranger and then that kind of connection happens and I said "well, talking to strangers is kinda what I do." Then, I told her about my challenge. She thought it was pretty cool, so I gave her my card for that as well.
The last approach was when I stopped at HyVee after the run to get some food for tomorrow. I wasn't really planning on approaching anyone, since it was late and usually there's not many people in the store that late. As I was about to walk down an aisle, I saw a woman there and decided to talk to her. She looked friendly enough, so why not. I found out she's studying to be a teacher, so we talked about that for awhile, since as you might remember, I used to be a teacher. Then we talked for a bit about hobbies. I found out that she cross country skis and she's a runner, which I can certainly appreciate. I told her about the challenge and she really seemed to like the idea.
All-in-all this was a great day for challenges. I met three really friendly people, which is always nice.
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
September 4, 2013
Only one approach today as well. I haven't dedicated much time to it this week.
Tonight, I was going to go for a run with a group, but I showed up 30 minutes early for the run (which was on the UW campus) so I decided to walk around a bit and kill some time. I ran into this nice young woman as I was walking back. She's a sophomore from Hawaii. She was incredibly friendly, one of the friendliest people I've met. It was like she had no problem with a random person coming up to her and talking to her, like it was normal. Which, I really feel like it should be normal for two strangers to just start talking to each other. So, kudos to her for that.
I told her about the challenge and we talked about that. We also talked about what she's studying and what it was like moving from some place warm to some place with cold winters, since I can relate to that. It was a great conversation. I'm glad I was early and had time to walk around.
Tonight, I was going to go for a run with a group, but I showed up 30 minutes early for the run (which was on the UW campus) so I decided to walk around a bit and kill some time. I ran into this nice young woman as I was walking back. She's a sophomore from Hawaii. She was incredibly friendly, one of the friendliest people I've met. It was like she had no problem with a random person coming up to her and talking to her, like it was normal. Which, I really feel like it should be normal for two strangers to just start talking to each other. So, kudos to her for that.
I told her about the challenge and we talked about that. We also talked about what she's studying and what it was like moving from some place warm to some place with cold winters, since I can relate to that. It was a great conversation. I'm glad I was early and had time to walk around.
September 3, 2013
Not much to report today, just one approach.
I stopped off at Metcalfe's at West Towne on the way home and approached this one woman and said she looked nice. I introduced myself, but she said she was busy. I said "oh, I'm just doing a thing where I try to meet at least one random person per day, so if I see someone that looks nice, I talk to them." She said "oh, that's cool, well good luck with that."
I don't know what it is, either I'm just running into a string of bad luck, or my heart hasn't really been in it lately and that's coming through when I talk to people.
I stopped off at Metcalfe's at West Towne on the way home and approached this one woman and said she looked nice. I introduced myself, but she said she was busy. I said "oh, I'm just doing a thing where I try to meet at least one random person per day, so if I see someone that looks nice, I talk to them." She said "oh, that's cool, well good luck with that."
I don't know what it is, either I'm just running into a string of bad luck, or my heart hasn't really been in it lately and that's coming through when I talk to people.
Monday, September 2, 2013
September 2, 2013
Just one approach today. I saw a woman in HyVee and introduced myself, but she said she was in a hurry. I said, "oh, okay, I'm just meeting people" and she at least stopped to listen to me tell her briefly about my challenges. I thought that was cool. It made me think that she was being honest about being in a hurry.
Sunday, September 1, 2013
September 1, 2013
I did two approaches today. The first one was a woman that was giving away samples of apple cider in Metcalfes @ West Towne. I talked to her for a little bit. Not a great approach, but today was just a bad day for approaching for some reason. Sometimes that just happens. I was in several stores today and really didn't see any good approach opportunities.
The second approach was while walking outside at Hilldale. There was a woman sitting on a bench playing with her phone, so I stopped and talked to her. The whole time during the conversation, she never looked up from her phone. I thought that was rather rude, so I didn't really bother talking with her much.
The second approach was while walking outside at Hilldale. There was a woman sitting on a bench playing with her phone, so I stopped and talked to her. The whole time during the conversation, she never looked up from her phone. I thought that was rather rude, so I didn't really bother talking with her much.
Saturday, August 31, 2013
Day 31
I only did 2 approaches today, but they were both really good approaches.
The first one was at Barnes & Noble. I saw a woman sitting in the used book section, so I went over and introduced myself. We talked about our hobbies and the challenge. I talked to her for awhile, maybe 20-30 minutes. It was probably the longest conversation I've had while doing my challenges. This was helped by the fact that we were just sitting there talking. I found out that she's originally from India and just recently moved back to Madison from Pittsburgh. We had a really in-depth discussion about the challenge and being social and things like that. She had mentioned that since moving back, she's found it difficult to make friends, which was when I brought up the challenge. After we talked 20-30 minutes, she had to go meet up with her parents, so we exchanged numbers and I told her that she has made a new friend in Madison.
The second approach was at HyVee. I introduced myself and found out that she's a HS teacher, which is what I used to do, so we talked about that. I also asked her about her hobbies and what she likes to do. Then we talked about my challenge and being social with people. She was very nice, I can definitely see her as a teacher.
This was a great way to end August.
On to September!
The first one was at Barnes & Noble. I saw a woman sitting in the used book section, so I went over and introduced myself. We talked about our hobbies and the challenge. I talked to her for awhile, maybe 20-30 minutes. It was probably the longest conversation I've had while doing my challenges. This was helped by the fact that we were just sitting there talking. I found out that she's originally from India and just recently moved back to Madison from Pittsburgh. We had a really in-depth discussion about the challenge and being social and things like that. She had mentioned that since moving back, she's found it difficult to make friends, which was when I brought up the challenge. After we talked 20-30 minutes, she had to go meet up with her parents, so we exchanged numbers and I told her that she has made a new friend in Madison.
The second approach was at HyVee. I introduced myself and found out that she's a HS teacher, which is what I used to do, so we talked about that. I also asked her about her hobbies and what she likes to do. Then we talked about my challenge and being social with people. She was very nice, I can definitely see her as a teacher.
This was a great way to end August.
On to September!
Friday, August 30, 2013
Day 30
I set 2 personal records today: the most number of approaches in a day (8) and the most number of approaches for a 30-day challenge (70.) I still have tomorrow to add to the monthly total for August, so 75 is a reasonable goal to strive for.
The first approach was at Metcalfes at West Towne. I saw a woman that looked rather classy, so I told her such. It wasn't a very long conversation, I pretty much just told her about the challenge. I think I might have given her my card as well, but I don't remember for sure.
The second approach was also at Metcalfes. Since the first approach went to the checkout lane right soon after I approached her, I felt like I could try for one more approach. This one also wasn't a very long approach, as I just told her that she looked good in glasses and then told her about the challenge.
The third approach was at Shopko. I'd almost given up on that place, since I've never found someone to approach, but I finally did. I told her that her hair looked nice. Also a short conversation, as I just told her about the challenge after that, and that was pretty much it.
My fourth approach was in Target @ Hilldale. I approach an Asian woman and told her she looked classy. She seemed very shy and I could see she was trying to get out of the conversation, so I just let her go.
My fifth approach was also in Target. I told her that her glasses looked good on her. This was a pretty lengthy approach, as I told her about the challenge and we talked about that for a bit. Then I asked her what she did and found out that she's a Vet Tech. She asked me what I do, so I told her. Then we talked about books for a bit. This was definitely my longest conversation of the day.
My sixth approach was in Metcalfes @ Hilldale. I told the woman she looked classy, but I don't think she understood the word, so I said "elegant." I found out she just recently (as in a few weeks ago) moved here from Turkey to study at the university. She seemed nice, but she didn't know what to make of a stranger talking to her at the grocery store. Even after I told her about the challenge, she still seemed unsure. I chalked that up to cultural differences.
My seventh approach was really interesting, because for the first time ever, I actually approached someone for the second time without knowing it. I told her that her glasses look nice on her (I know this might seem like a broken record, but I think glasses do look nice on a lot of women, so this isn't a lie) and started telling her about the challenge, when she stopped me. Here's a from-memory transcription of the interaction:
her: I don't want to sound rude, but do you go around stores just talking to random people?
me: Well, I set 30-day challenges for myself to meet at least one random person every day.
her: Well, because you already came up to me and did this before. That's kinda weird.
me: Why is that weird?
her: Because you've already done this to me.
me: Well, I've met over 150 people while doing this challenge, so it's hard to remember them all.
her: Well thanks.
me: Yeah
Funny.
Undeterred from the seventh approach, I told the checkout woman at Half-Price Books that her glasses look nice on her.
An even 8 for the day and 70 over the 30-day challenge. Tomorrow being the 31st is a bonus day. August was definitely my best month so far.
The first approach was at Metcalfes at West Towne. I saw a woman that looked rather classy, so I told her such. It wasn't a very long conversation, I pretty much just told her about the challenge. I think I might have given her my card as well, but I don't remember for sure.
The second approach was also at Metcalfes. Since the first approach went to the checkout lane right soon after I approached her, I felt like I could try for one more approach. This one also wasn't a very long approach, as I just told her that she looked good in glasses and then told her about the challenge.
The third approach was at Shopko. I'd almost given up on that place, since I've never found someone to approach, but I finally did. I told her that her hair looked nice. Also a short conversation, as I just told her about the challenge after that, and that was pretty much it.
My fourth approach was in Target @ Hilldale. I approach an Asian woman and told her she looked classy. She seemed very shy and I could see she was trying to get out of the conversation, so I just let her go.
My fifth approach was also in Target. I told her that her glasses looked good on her. This was a pretty lengthy approach, as I told her about the challenge and we talked about that for a bit. Then I asked her what she did and found out that she's a Vet Tech. She asked me what I do, so I told her. Then we talked about books for a bit. This was definitely my longest conversation of the day.
My sixth approach was in Metcalfes @ Hilldale. I told the woman she looked classy, but I don't think she understood the word, so I said "elegant." I found out she just recently (as in a few weeks ago) moved here from Turkey to study at the university. She seemed nice, but she didn't know what to make of a stranger talking to her at the grocery store. Even after I told her about the challenge, she still seemed unsure. I chalked that up to cultural differences.
My seventh approach was really interesting, because for the first time ever, I actually approached someone for the second time without knowing it. I told her that her glasses look nice on her (I know this might seem like a broken record, but I think glasses do look nice on a lot of women, so this isn't a lie) and started telling her about the challenge, when she stopped me. Here's a from-memory transcription of the interaction:
her: I don't want to sound rude, but do you go around stores just talking to random people?
me: Well, I set 30-day challenges for myself to meet at least one random person every day.
her: Well, because you already came up to me and did this before. That's kinda weird.
me: Why is that weird?
her: Because you've already done this to me.
me: Well, I've met over 150 people while doing this challenge, so it's hard to remember them all.
her: Well thanks.
me: Yeah
Funny.
Undeterred from the seventh approach, I told the checkout woman at Half-Price Books that her glasses look nice on her.
An even 8 for the day and 70 over the 30-day challenge. Tomorrow being the 31st is a bonus day. August was definitely my best month so far.
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Question:
So if you're reading this and you're someone that received a compliment from me, then found out that I've complimented maybe a dozen other women or more, would you think that makes the compliment less meaningful, or would it be just as meaningful?
In my mind, I feel like it shouldn't make it any less meaningful. The sincerity is not lessened any because I've complimented more people. There's a good quote from Buddha that speaks to this: "A thousand candles can be lit from one and that candle is not diminished. Happiness is not decreased by being shared." I think that applies to this as well.
Anyway, if you're reading this, leave a comment on this page, or email me: will@30daysofwill.com
I'd love to hear people's thoughts on this.
In my mind, I feel like it shouldn't make it any less meaningful. The sincerity is not lessened any because I've complimented more people. There's a good quote from Buddha that speaks to this: "A thousand candles can be lit from one and that candle is not diminished. Happiness is not decreased by being shared." I think that applies to this as well.
Anyway, if you're reading this, leave a comment on this page, or email me: will@30daysofwill.com
I'd love to hear people's thoughts on this.
Day 29
I did 3 approaches today, which leaves me at 62. If I can average 4 per day for the next two days, I'll hit 70 for the month. Considering it's a Friday and Saturday that I'm dealing with, that's totally doable. If I need to do 6 approaches on Saturday to hit 70, I'll do it.
The first woman I complimented was at Metcalfe's @ West Towne. She looked classy, so I complimented her on that. I found out that she was originally from Russia. I liked her accent. We talked a little bit about the challenge and it seemed like she thought it was really cool. I gave her one of my cards and told her to check out the blog.
The second woman I complimented was the waitress at the restaurant my running group went to after our run tonight. So, a waitress is a bit of a stretch, but since I'm only just complimenting random people for the 9 Days of Giving challenge, I feel like that counts. She had red streaks in her hair, which I complimented her on. And when I say red, I mean like fire engine red.
The third woman I complimented was in Target @ Hilldale. Her hair was really wavy and it looked nice. I told her about the challenge and we talked about that for a little while. She was really nice and easy to talk to, which is always nice. It makes doing these challenges easier, knowing there are nice people out there.
The first woman I complimented was at Metcalfe's @ West Towne. She looked classy, so I complimented her on that. I found out that she was originally from Russia. I liked her accent. We talked a little bit about the challenge and it seemed like she thought it was really cool. I gave her one of my cards and told her to check out the blog.
The second woman I complimented was the waitress at the restaurant my running group went to after our run tonight. So, a waitress is a bit of a stretch, but since I'm only just complimenting random people for the 9 Days of Giving challenge, I feel like that counts. She had red streaks in her hair, which I complimented her on. And when I say red, I mean like fire engine red.
The third woman I complimented was in Target @ Hilldale. Her hair was really wavy and it looked nice. I told her about the challenge and we talked about that for a little while. She was really nice and easy to talk to, which is always nice. It makes doing these challenges easier, knowing there are nice people out there.
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Day 28
I did 4 approaches today, leaving me just one shy of 60 for the month. If I include the 31st, there's a chance I can hit 70. We'll see what happens!
Also, today was the first time I'd approached two different women with the same name in the same day. And the funny thing is, it's not even a real common name.
The first approach was at Metcalfe's by West Towne. I complimented a woman on her hair (I feel like this is a pretty neutral compliment to give a woman, but one that still makes her feel good.) I told her about the challenge and she seemed like she thought it was a cool idea. I gave her my card so she could look up this blog.
The second approach was at Target in Hilldale. I also complimented her on her hair. It turns out she had the same name as the woman at Metcalfe's, which was interesting. I told her about the challenge and she also thought it was really cool. I also gave her my card to look up the blog.
The third approach was at Metcalfe's at Hilldale. I saw a woman over by the salad bar and she looked like she had just come from the gym, but I approached her anyway. I told her about the challenge and then asked her if she had just come from the gym. She had, so we talked about that for a bit. I didn't give her my card. I'm not sure why, I just didn't.
The last approach was at HyVee. I saw a woman with jaw-length hair, which I think is a nice length on some women. I complimented her on that and then told her about the challenge. She thought it was really cool and said that it seemed like something she should do. I hope she does it, because I know it has really had a profound impact on my life. Actually, to anyone reading this that's thinking about doing it, I say do it. There's no good reason not to and a really good reason to. I promise that at the end of the 30 days, you won't regret doing it.
Also, today was the first time I'd approached two different women with the same name in the same day. And the funny thing is, it's not even a real common name.
The first approach was at Metcalfe's by West Towne. I complimented a woman on her hair (I feel like this is a pretty neutral compliment to give a woman, but one that still makes her feel good.) I told her about the challenge and she seemed like she thought it was a cool idea. I gave her my card so she could look up this blog.
The second approach was at Target in Hilldale. I also complimented her on her hair. It turns out she had the same name as the woman at Metcalfe's, which was interesting. I told her about the challenge and she also thought it was really cool. I also gave her my card to look up the blog.
The third approach was at Metcalfe's at Hilldale. I saw a woman over by the salad bar and she looked like she had just come from the gym, but I approached her anyway. I told her about the challenge and then asked her if she had just come from the gym. She had, so we talked about that for a bit. I didn't give her my card. I'm not sure why, I just didn't.
The last approach was at HyVee. I saw a woman with jaw-length hair, which I think is a nice length on some women. I complimented her on that and then told her about the challenge. She thought it was really cool and said that it seemed like something she should do. I hope she does it, because I know it has really had a profound impact on my life. Actually, to anyone reading this that's thinking about doing it, I say do it. There's no good reason not to and a really good reason to. I promise that at the end of the 30 days, you won't regret doing it.
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Day 27
On my second day of random compliments of strangers, I complimented a woman on her hairstyle. It seemed like she really appreciated the compliment, which is always nice to see. I told her about the challenge and she seemed like she thought it was a really cool idea.
Monday, August 26, 2013
Day 26
I started Day 1 of the 9 Days of Giving. For my 9 days, I'm going to do some random acts of kindness by complimenting random people. At least one per day. Today, I did two.
The first one was at Metcalfe's by West Towne. I saw a woman that had really nice-looking short hair. Not "I'm giving up on trying to look good" short, but jaw-length. It looked nice, and I told her so. She looked a little unsure of why a stranger was complimenting her, so I told her about the 9 Days of Giving. Then she was like "oh yeah, that's really sweet." I could see the complete change in her facial expression from uncertainty to happiness. It was quite obvious that it had made a very positive impact on her day, which was nice.
The second one was at Target in Hilldale. I was on an aisle looking at picture frames and a woman was walking by. I smiled at her and she smiled back, so I said "you have a nice smile." She said "thank you" and kept on walking. I feel like her "thank you" was sincere, though.
The first one was at Metcalfe's by West Towne. I saw a woman that had really nice-looking short hair. Not "I'm giving up on trying to look good" short, but jaw-length. It looked nice, and I told her so. She looked a little unsure of why a stranger was complimenting her, so I told her about the 9 Days of Giving. Then she was like "oh yeah, that's really sweet." I could see the complete change in her facial expression from uncertainty to happiness. It was quite obvious that it had made a very positive impact on her day, which was nice.
The second one was at Target in Hilldale. I was on an aisle looking at picture frames and a woman was walking by. I smiled at her and she smiled back, so I said "you have a nice smile." She said "thank you" and kept on walking. I feel like her "thank you" was sincere, though.
Sunday, August 25, 2013
Day 25
Just one approach today. I met a nice woman in Target @ Hilldale. I introduced myself and asked about her. I also told her about the challenge that I'm doing, which she thought was cool.
Sorry, that's all I got for today.
Sorry, that's all I got for today.
Saturday, August 24, 2013
Day 24
The first approach was in Walmart (hey, I was there buying spraypaint on the cheap, don't judge me!) I went up to this woman and introduced myself. I found out that she was a dog trainer and we talked about the merits of positive reinforcement vs negative reinforcement in both dogs and people. I told her about the challenge and she said that she thought it was a really cool idea. I think she might actually do a 30-day challenge of her own, which would be really cool. If you're reading this, do it! When the 30 days are over, you'll be glad you did, I promise!
The next approach was a very brief one. I was walking outside at Hilldale and this woman was passing by, so I introduced myself. I asked what she did and she said she was in a hurry to get back to work.
The third approach was a woman at Target. She looks like a woman that I've seen that lives in my apartment building. Turns out she wasn't.
The fourth approach was also outside of Hilldale, while walking back to my car. I said hello, then introduced myself. She said she was waiting for her boyfriend, so I said "cool."
All-in-all not a bad Saturday. The first approach was one of the best conversations I've had so far.
The next approach was a very brief one. I was walking outside at Hilldale and this woman was passing by, so I introduced myself. I asked what she did and she said she was in a hurry to get back to work.
The third approach was a woman at Target. She looks like a woman that I've seen that lives in my apartment building. Turns out she wasn't.
The fourth approach was also outside of Hilldale, while walking back to my car. I said hello, then introduced myself. She said she was waiting for her boyfriend, so I said "cool."
All-in-all not a bad Saturday. The first approach was one of the best conversations I've had so far.
Friday, August 23, 2013
Update 3!
Tonight, the girl with the Pensacola shirt officially became my girlfriend. We had a lovely evening walking down State St, then went over to the Union Terrace. We sat on one of the docks and talked and looked at the water and were just present with each other. It was a great evening.
Fortune favors the bold. If you're willing to take a chance, take a risk, then good things will happen to you.
Fortune favors the bold. If you're willing to take a chance, take a risk, then good things will happen to you.
Day 23
I didn't have much time today. Why that is, will be explained in my next update.
On my first approach, I saw this Asian woman that looked nice, so I introduced myself. I found out that she's a PHD student that's close to being finished with her degree. We talked for a bit about that and then I told her about doing my challenges.
On my second approach, I really just went and talked to a woman that was at one of the sample displays. She was just standing there and nobody was going to talk to her, so I went up and had a conversation with her. It wasn't a great approach, since we mostly just talked about the kinds of things that her promotion company promotes.
The real good stuff will come in Update 3.
On my first approach, I saw this Asian woman that looked nice, so I introduced myself. I found out that she's a PHD student that's close to being finished with her degree. We talked for a bit about that and then I told her about doing my challenges.
On my second approach, I really just went and talked to a woman that was at one of the sample displays. She was just standing there and nobody was going to talk to her, so I went up and had a conversation with her. It wasn't a great approach, since we mostly just talked about the kinds of things that her promotion company promotes.
The real good stuff will come in Update 3.
Thursday, August 22, 2013
Day 22
I did two approaches today, keeping myself on track for 60 for the month. I also got my first ever approach at the Arboretum, which is something I wanted to do.
The first approach was at Metcalfe's. I saw this woman over in the produce section (this is a great place to find women, by the way. I'm not sure why, but the produce section of a grocery store will almost always have women in it during times when there's a decent amount of people in the store. Just an FYI for anyone that wants to do this.) I asked her what she did and found out that she just recently finished serving in the Peace Corps. I thought that was awesome, so I had to ask about that for a little bit. After talking for a bit, she said she had to go, and I needed to get going so that I could make it to the run, so I gave her a card and told her to look up the group. I hope that I get to hear more about her experiences in the Peace Corps, because it sounded like an awesome experience.
The second approach was at the Arboretum during a run. We made it to Mills St. and paused to wait for one of the runners and there was a woman there stretching at the bridge. I decide it would be a good opportunity to both do an approach and some street recruiting. So, I asked her if she'd be interested in running with a group and told her about it. She seemed pretty cool, so I hope she joins. Sadly, street recruiting almost never works out. I'm not sure why, but that's just the way it goes.
The first approach was at Metcalfe's. I saw this woman over in the produce section (this is a great place to find women, by the way. I'm not sure why, but the produce section of a grocery store will almost always have women in it during times when there's a decent amount of people in the store. Just an FYI for anyone that wants to do this.) I asked her what she did and found out that she just recently finished serving in the Peace Corps. I thought that was awesome, so I had to ask about that for a little bit. After talking for a bit, she said she had to go, and I needed to get going so that I could make it to the run, so I gave her a card and told her to look up the group. I hope that I get to hear more about her experiences in the Peace Corps, because it sounded like an awesome experience.
The second approach was at the Arboretum during a run. We made it to Mills St. and paused to wait for one of the runners and there was a woman there stretching at the bridge. I decide it would be a good opportunity to both do an approach and some street recruiting. So, I asked her if she'd be interested in running with a group and told her about it. She seemed pretty cool, so I hope she joins. Sadly, street recruiting almost never works out. I'm not sure why, but that's just the way it goes.
Trying an AMA on reddit.com
I'm hoping to inspire others to make positive changes in my life, so I'm doing an AMA (Ask Me Anything on reddit.com)
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Day 21
I did two approaches today, which puts my grand total at 43, which has already tied the record I set in June, with 43 approaches. I'm thinking I might be able to get 60, which would be an average of two per day.
The first approach was at Metcalfe's west towne. I saw a woman that looked nice, so I went up to her and introduced myself. I asked her what she does and found out that she works in the financial field. I told her about the challenge and she seemed to think it was a cool idea. I gave her one of my new cards and I hope she looks up the blog.
The second approach was at HyVee. I saw a woman that was really pretty, but also looked like a nice person, so I told her so. I asked her what she did, and she told me, then kinda cut the conversation short. So, I was curious and had to ask her if she thought that was weird. I told her about doing the challenges and also gave her one of my cards.
The first approach was at Metcalfe's west towne. I saw a woman that looked nice, so I went up to her and introduced myself. I asked her what she does and found out that she works in the financial field. I told her about the challenge and she seemed to think it was a cool idea. I gave her one of my new cards and I hope she looks up the blog.
The second approach was at HyVee. I saw a woman that was really pretty, but also looked like a nice person, so I told her so. I asked her what she did, and she told me, then kinda cut the conversation short. So, I was curious and had to ask her if she thought that was weird. I told her about doing the challenges and also gave her one of my cards.
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Day 20
Lately there's been a dismaying trend at Target @ Hilldale: a bunch of loud, obnoxious college kids. I get annoyed just being there, so I didn't really stay long enough to try to approach anyone.
On the way home I stopped at HyVee and met a nice woman from Canada. She's a graduate student at the university. At first, she was a bit skeptical, thinking I might be trying to sell her something. So, I told her about my challenges, and we talked about that. It was my first opportunity to give out one of my new business cards with my blog info on it.
On the way home I stopped at HyVee and met a nice woman from Canada. She's a graduate student at the university. At first, she was a bit skeptical, thinking I might be trying to sell her something. So, I told her about my challenges, and we talked about that. It was my first opportunity to give out one of my new business cards with my blog info on it.
Monday, August 19, 2013
Day 19
I didn't have a lot of time between work and running tonight, so I did one approach at Metcalfe's west towne. I told the woman that she looked friendly and introduced myself. I asked her what she did and she said that she was sorry, but she was in a hurry. I said, "oh, that's okay." I didn't really mind it, because I just had to get my approach in for the day, even if it didn't go anywhere.
Definitely not a banner day, but it's a testament to the power of framing this as a challenge, rather than being invested in the results: instead of being bummed that the interaction didn't go anywhere, I was just happy to take care of the challenge for the day. This is especially true on days when I just don't have much time to work with. It's all about perspective!
Definitely not a banner day, but it's a testament to the power of framing this as a challenge, rather than being invested in the results: instead of being bummed that the interaction didn't go anywhere, I was just happy to take care of the challenge for the day. This is especially true on days when I just don't have much time to work with. It's all about perspective!
Sunday, August 18, 2013
Day 18
I find my motivations have changed lately. Now I'm just having regular conversations.
Today, I met a nice woman in Metcalfe's at Hilldale. I told her she looked like a nice person and introduced myself. I found out she works as a dietician. So, I took the opportunity to ask about the smoothies that I make. I also found out that she's a runner, so I invited her to join my group. I also told her about doing my 30 day challenges. She seemed like a really cool person.
Today, I met a nice woman in Metcalfe's at Hilldale. I told her she looked like a nice person and introduced myself. I found out she works as a dietician. So, I took the opportunity to ask about the smoothies that I make. I also found out that she's a runner, so I invited her to join my group. I also told her about doing my 30 day challenges. She seemed like a really cool person.
Day 17
For some reason, this was just not a great day for approaching. I've noticed that weekend days, while it seems like they would be great because I have so much time, are very hit or miss. Sometimes there's just a plethora of opportunity, and sometimes it is very dry. This was one of those days.
I went to Walmart to pick up some canvasses and paint for a project I'm working on. While there, I saw a woman that I had previously approached in the HyVee. When I had first approached her, I told her she looked like a friendly person and introduced myself. She seemed taken aback and kept saying that it wasn't a good time to talk? So this time I explained to her about the 30 day challenges and that I do this to better myself as a person and get used to talking to strangers and get over the fear and anxiety of that, and also as a way to inspire people to make changes in their lives. At this point, a normal person would be like "oh, that's really cool!" or at least "oh, alright then." However, she was still taken aback. She's a very skittish person. It makes me think that she's in an abusive relationship, because it's not normal to be that skittish.
I had to pick up some more supplies at Target, so I tried there, but there must have been some big back to school sale or something, because the place was loaded with high-schoolers or college freshman there with their parents. I'd never seen Target so busy. It annoyed me, so I just got my stuff and left.
I stopped off at Metcalfe's on the way to grab some lunch, and decided to try while I was there. Sadly, there weren't really any opportunities to approach.
Not a banner day, but sometimes that will happen. At least I took care of the things I needed to take care of, so there's that.
I went to Walmart to pick up some canvasses and paint for a project I'm working on. While there, I saw a woman that I had previously approached in the HyVee. When I had first approached her, I told her she looked like a friendly person and introduced myself. She seemed taken aback and kept saying that it wasn't a good time to talk? So this time I explained to her about the 30 day challenges and that I do this to better myself as a person and get used to talking to strangers and get over the fear and anxiety of that, and also as a way to inspire people to make changes in their lives. At this point, a normal person would be like "oh, that's really cool!" or at least "oh, alright then." However, she was still taken aback. She's a very skittish person. It makes me think that she's in an abusive relationship, because it's not normal to be that skittish.
I had to pick up some more supplies at Target, so I tried there, but there must have been some big back to school sale or something, because the place was loaded with high-schoolers or college freshman there with their parents. I'd never seen Target so busy. It annoyed me, so I just got my stuff and left.
I stopped off at Metcalfe's on the way to grab some lunch, and decided to try while I was there. Sadly, there weren't really any opportunities to approach.
Not a banner day, but sometimes that will happen. At least I took care of the things I needed to take care of, so there's that.
Saturday, August 17, 2013
Now on Facebook
I decided to put 30 Days of Will on Facebook to heighten the online presence and hopefully reach a wider audience to inspire more people.
The link to the facebook page is: http://www.facebook.com/30daysofwill
The link to the facebook page is: http://www.facebook.com/30daysofwill
Day 16
I didn't have much time tonight, because I was going running at Pheasant Branch. I tried to find someone to approach on the way home but didn't have any luck. I stayed positive, though. I got to Pheasant Branch a little early, and while waiting, I saw a runner stop in the parking lot. I thought this was a perfect opportunity to take care of my challenge and do a little group recruiting. I grabbed one of my run club business cards from my wallet and went over to approach. I said "Excuse me, you look like a runner. Do you ever run with a group?" She said that she normally just runs by herself. So, I told her that I organize a running group in Madison and if she's interested, she should look us up.
Thursday, August 15, 2013
Day 15
Not a lot to post about today, either. I only did one approach today. It was on the way home, when I stopped at Metcalfe's. I saw a woman who had stylish glasses, so I complimented her on that. Then I asked her what she did, and she said she's a product manager for an auto parts website. So I had to ask how she got into that. Then I asked her what she did for fun, and she said "I do a lot of things... but I have to get going." So I replied "ohhhhhk."
Not a great approach, but I didn't have much time after work to do this, since I was going running. I just needed to get one in for the day.
Not a great approach, but I didn't have much time after work to do this, since I was going running. I just needed to get one in for the day.
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
Update 2!
This is my post-date update from my date with the Pensacola shirt girl.
You know those really good dates where you don't have any of that first date awkwardness or anxiety and it's just comfortable to the point where you feel like you've know the person awhile? This was one of those dates. I felt like we really connected on a deep level. We're both adventurous spirits and we talked about doing things like the scene from the movie Yes Man, where they go to the airport and just fly to whatever place the next flight is going to. She's such an easy person to be around and just a total sweetheart.
You know those really good dates where you don't have any of that first date awkwardness or anxiety and it's just comfortable to the point where you feel like you've know the person awhile? This was one of those dates. I felt like we really connected on a deep level. We're both adventurous spirits and we talked about doing things like the scene from the movie Yes Man, where they go to the airport and just fly to whatever place the next flight is going to. She's such an easy person to be around and just a total sweetheart.
Day 14
Not much to post about, challenge-related today. The bigger news will come in the Update 2 post, but here goes.
I was at west towne mall over my lunch break, when I saw a woman seated in one of the sitting areas. I walked over to her and told her that the way her hair was styled looked nice. She said thank you and I was about to introduce myself, when her teenage daughter came out of a store and came up to her and she left. Whoops! That's the first time something like that has happened, but I just shrugged it off.
I was at Metcalfe's, but there wasn't really anyone to approach there, so I just ended up talking to one of the women that work there. I told her more about my challenge and about this blog, so if you're reading this, hello!
I guess today I didn't really feel too motivated to approach, and my mind was really on my date later.
I was at west towne mall over my lunch break, when I saw a woman seated in one of the sitting areas. I walked over to her and told her that the way her hair was styled looked nice. She said thank you and I was about to introduce myself, when her teenage daughter came out of a store and came up to her and she left. Whoops! That's the first time something like that has happened, but I just shrugged it off.
I was at Metcalfe's, but there wasn't really anyone to approach there, so I just ended up talking to one of the women that work there. I told her more about my challenge and about this blog, so if you're reading this, hello!
I guess today I didn't really feel too motivated to approach, and my mind was really on my date later.
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Day 13
So I didn't really have an opening line going in, so whatever I used for my first one was going to be the line for the day. I stopped off at Metcalfe's by west towne (mostly because if I kill time there, the traffic on the way home isn't nearly as bad.) The first woman I saw was wearing glasses, so I decided that would be it. I complimented her on her glasses, saying that they made her look distinguished. I asked her what she did, and I found out that she's in marketing. She does marketing for green companies, which is pretty cool. She was wearing an infinity charm on her necklace, so I asked her about that. She told me that her boyfriend gave it to her. I asked her what she did in her spare time and she said she liked hanging out with friends and going to Badger games. I wasn't really interested in asking for her number, so I didn't.
The second woman I approached was also in Metcalfe's. I was getting a little greedy after yesterday, so I did two approaches in the same place. She had a tattoo on the back of her neck. I asked her what it meant and she said it's her husband's last name. I said that was cool and that was it.
The third woman I approached was in Barnes & Noble. She was also a high schooler. Just kidding. She was dressed rather classy, so I complimented her on that. I asked her what she did, and she said that she was a social worker at a nursing home. We talked about that for a bit, and the conversation just kinda fizzled out.
The fourth woman I approached was at HyVee. While passing by her, I smiled and she smiled back, so I complimented her on her smile. I introduced myself and she said she was married, so I went into my regular "married/boyfriend" bit. I asked her what she did and she told me she was a teacher. So, we had some common ground there, as I used to be a teacher. We talked about the politics behind teacher and the economic difficulties. I probably talked with her for about 5 minutes or so, then went on my way.
The second woman I approached was also in Metcalfe's. I was getting a little greedy after yesterday, so I did two approaches in the same place. She had a tattoo on the back of her neck. I asked her what it meant and she said it's her husband's last name. I said that was cool and that was it.
The third woman I approached was in Barnes & Noble. She was also a high schooler. Just kidding. She was dressed rather classy, so I complimented her on that. I asked her what she did, and she said that she was a social worker at a nursing home. We talked about that for a bit, and the conversation just kinda fizzled out.
The fourth woman I approached was at HyVee. While passing by her, I smiled and she smiled back, so I complimented her on her smile. I introduced myself and she said she was married, so I went into my regular "married/boyfriend" bit. I asked her what she did and she told me she was a teacher. So, we had some common ground there, as I used to be a teacher. We talked about the politics behind teacher and the economic difficulties. I probably talked with her for about 5 minutes or so, then went on my way.
Monday, August 12, 2013
Update!
Here's an update on who I will refer to as Pensacola t-shirt girl. See Day 9's blog for more info. Anyway, we have a date set for Wednesday. Hurray! And this wouldn't be possible if I had not forced myself out of my comfort zone.
Day 12
I'll start off with the good: because I was off from work today, and I was out running errands, I had more opportunities to approach. I ended up with 6 approaches total, which is my new personal best. And now... on to the recaps!
I was in Copps to get some stuff for a fruit/veggie smoothie, and while I was in the product section, I saw a cute black woman at the salad bar. Now, before the Political Correctness Army (PCA) comes after me, please note that I only mention her race because she was the first black woman I've had the chance to approach as part of my challenges. I thought that was noteworthy, so calm down. And yes, black, not African-American. The former is a better way to differentiate, when differentiation is useful for the narrative. Anyway, I went up to her and told her that I thought she was beautiful. I found out that she's a social worker and she values spending time with family. That's pretty cool. She seemed to be trying to get out of the conversation, so I let her go.
The second approach happened at Hilldale, while walking outside. I saw a woman sitting on a bench, and that's like gold. I don't know why, but a woman sitting on a bench is really easy for me to approach. Anyway, I went with the line of the day "I don't think we've met" and introduced myself. She looked a little like "did he really just say that to me?" so I was like "oh, it's cool, I just like to meet new people and I figure why not just go and introduce myself if I want to talk to someone." I found out she actually works at Hilldale. I won't name the store, because this isn't about revealing people's identities. She was on break, so I didn't have much time to talk to her.
The third approach happened about a minute after the second one ended. I was walking towards Metcalfe's and on the other side of the road I saw a woman and smiled at her and she smiled back. I had to compliment her on her smile, so I did. This was a rare approach where I went for it, despite logistics being less than optimal. I crossed the street and had to call out to her, since she was about 15 feet in front of me. I told her that I thought she had a nice smile and introduced myself. She also works at the mall and again won't reveal where, but she was on her way to meet a friend for lunch, so I also didn't get much time to talk to her.
The fourth approach was in Target. There was this girl that looked really sweet, but every time I saw her, there were people around, and I try to avoid an audience so that I don't make the woman feel awkward (and myself as well, fine!) I browsed around for a bit and ended up seeing her in one of the kitchenware aisles. I told her that she looked sweet and introduced myself. She started coughing as approached her, which was kinda funny and cute. She said right off the bad that she had a boyfriend, which is cool. I'd rather find out early, rather than late. Still, I went forward with the conversation and actually told her about my challenge. I told her about this blog, so she might actually read it. If so, hello! We had a nice conversation, mostly about my challenge.
The fifth approach was while I was walking back to my car, also outside of Hilldale. And by the way, Hilldale threw me some fastballs right over the plate today. Three women outside that I could approach. I usually don't even get one. Well played, Hilldale. Anyway, I saw this older woman walking the opposite way towards me, so I told her that she was beautiful. I introduced myself and she told me her name but kinda kept walking, and I was trying to get out of there so I didn't get stuck in traffic.
The sixth approach was at HyVee. I was on 5, which would tie a personal best, and I knew I was running tonight, so I thought "why not go for the record!" I walked to HyVee to get some extra exercise and avoid 5pm traffic. I walked around for a bit and saw this nice-looking woman. I approached her and told her that she looked nice and introduced myself. At first she looked kinda taken aback or skeptical, so I told her that I'm just a friendly guy that likes to meet people. She asked me if I meet people a lot at the store. I told her that I make it a point to go up and talk to someone if I see someone that looks nice or interesting. While talking to her, I could notice a distinct softening of her expression. She went from a "WTF is this" to "wow, this is actually pretty impressive!" Once she was comfortable, I asked her what she did and found out she was an x-ray tech. We talked about that for awhile, and why she got into that field. She found it through a process of elimination. I asked her what she didn't like doing, and she said one thing she doesn't like is sitting in a cube I was like, "oh, yeah, that's what I do now, which is why I force myself to get out and be social." She asked me what I do, so I told her about my job and all that. Then I asked her what she does for fun in her free time and she didn't really have an answer for that. That might be because she has kids, so spends her free time with them. We had a great conversation; it must have gone on for 15 minutes or so. At one point, I was going to go in for the number and had started on my "you're really easy to talk to" bit, but then someone showed up and was looking at the frozen goods next to where we were standing, and I thought it would have been awkward to go for a number with an audience, so I ad-libbed some more conversation, then went for the number when we were alone. She put her full name in my phone, which I take as a sign that it's actually her number. She asked me what my last name was, so I told her. Then she asked how old I am, so I told her I'm 33. She kinda had the "oh wow..." expression, then asked how old I thought she was. Quick aside here, guys, if you're reading this and you don't already know, guess low, but not too low. Don't say 29 if she's obviously in her 40s, but don't say 45 if you think she might be early 40s. In true Douglas Adams style, I went with 42. Turns out I was close and low. Bingo!
She was really cool, I would definitely like to talk to her again.
I was in Copps to get some stuff for a fruit/veggie smoothie, and while I was in the product section, I saw a cute black woman at the salad bar. Now, before the Political Correctness Army (PCA) comes after me, please note that I only mention her race because she was the first black woman I've had the chance to approach as part of my challenges. I thought that was noteworthy, so calm down. And yes, black, not African-American. The former is a better way to differentiate, when differentiation is useful for the narrative. Anyway, I went up to her and told her that I thought she was beautiful. I found out that she's a social worker and she values spending time with family. That's pretty cool. She seemed to be trying to get out of the conversation, so I let her go.
The second approach happened at Hilldale, while walking outside. I saw a woman sitting on a bench, and that's like gold. I don't know why, but a woman sitting on a bench is really easy for me to approach. Anyway, I went with the line of the day "I don't think we've met" and introduced myself. She looked a little like "did he really just say that to me?" so I was like "oh, it's cool, I just like to meet new people and I figure why not just go and introduce myself if I want to talk to someone." I found out she actually works at Hilldale. I won't name the store, because this isn't about revealing people's identities. She was on break, so I didn't have much time to talk to her.
The third approach happened about a minute after the second one ended. I was walking towards Metcalfe's and on the other side of the road I saw a woman and smiled at her and she smiled back. I had to compliment her on her smile, so I did. This was a rare approach where I went for it, despite logistics being less than optimal. I crossed the street and had to call out to her, since she was about 15 feet in front of me. I told her that I thought she had a nice smile and introduced myself. She also works at the mall and again won't reveal where, but she was on her way to meet a friend for lunch, so I also didn't get much time to talk to her.
The fourth approach was in Target. There was this girl that looked really sweet, but every time I saw her, there were people around, and I try to avoid an audience so that I don't make the woman feel awkward (and myself as well, fine!) I browsed around for a bit and ended up seeing her in one of the kitchenware aisles. I told her that she looked sweet and introduced myself. She started coughing as approached her, which was kinda funny and cute. She said right off the bad that she had a boyfriend, which is cool. I'd rather find out early, rather than late. Still, I went forward with the conversation and actually told her about my challenge. I told her about this blog, so she might actually read it. If so, hello! We had a nice conversation, mostly about my challenge.
The fifth approach was while I was walking back to my car, also outside of Hilldale. And by the way, Hilldale threw me some fastballs right over the plate today. Three women outside that I could approach. I usually don't even get one. Well played, Hilldale. Anyway, I saw this older woman walking the opposite way towards me, so I told her that she was beautiful. I introduced myself and she told me her name but kinda kept walking, and I was trying to get out of there so I didn't get stuck in traffic.
The sixth approach was at HyVee. I was on 5, which would tie a personal best, and I knew I was running tonight, so I thought "why not go for the record!" I walked to HyVee to get some extra exercise and avoid 5pm traffic. I walked around for a bit and saw this nice-looking woman. I approached her and told her that she looked nice and introduced myself. At first she looked kinda taken aback or skeptical, so I told her that I'm just a friendly guy that likes to meet people. She asked me if I meet people a lot at the store. I told her that I make it a point to go up and talk to someone if I see someone that looks nice or interesting. While talking to her, I could notice a distinct softening of her expression. She went from a "WTF is this" to "wow, this is actually pretty impressive!" Once she was comfortable, I asked her what she did and found out she was an x-ray tech. We talked about that for awhile, and why she got into that field. She found it through a process of elimination. I asked her what she didn't like doing, and she said one thing she doesn't like is sitting in a cube I was like, "oh, yeah, that's what I do now, which is why I force myself to get out and be social." She asked me what I do, so I told her about my job and all that. Then I asked her what she does for fun in her free time and she didn't really have an answer for that. That might be because she has kids, so spends her free time with them. We had a great conversation; it must have gone on for 15 minutes or so. At one point, I was going to go in for the number and had started on my "you're really easy to talk to" bit, but then someone showed up and was looking at the frozen goods next to where we were standing, and I thought it would have been awkward to go for a number with an audience, so I ad-libbed some more conversation, then went for the number when we were alone. She put her full name in my phone, which I take as a sign that it's actually her number. She asked me what my last name was, so I told her. Then she asked how old I am, so I told her I'm 33. She kinda had the "oh wow..." expression, then asked how old I thought she was. Quick aside here, guys, if you're reading this and you don't already know, guess low, but not too low. Don't say 29 if she's obviously in her 40s, but don't say 45 if you think she might be early 40s. In true Douglas Adams style, I went with 42. Turns out I was close and low. Bingo!
She was really cool, I would definitely like to talk to her again.
Sunday, August 11, 2013
Day 11
The phrase for today is: "I like your hair"
My first approach was at the Hilldale Target. While grabbing some sticky-tack, I saw this woman that had cute hair, kinda between jaw-length and shoulder-length. So I went and told her that I liked her hair. The cool thing about this is that I could tell by her reaction that she was very pleasantly surprised by the compliment. That was really cool. I introduced myself and I noticed that she had a great handshake. I found out that she's a family doctor in Oshkosh. I talked with her a little bit and she casually mentioned that she had a boyfriend. Between her living far away and having a boyfriend, I decided against asking for her number. I probably should have, just for practice.
My second approach was at Michael's. They were having a sale on canvasses and I wanted to get more to work on my new art project (stenciling.) I saw a woman across the way who looked rather fit and had her hair up in a sporty pony tail. It looked cool, but logistics weren't on my side. I walked around for a bit, just looking at stuff, and while I was in the paint section, she was basically pushing her cart into my path. So, I decided fate wanted me to approach. I found out that she teaches pre-school and does yoga. I asked her about yoga, because I've been thinking about getting into it, as a way to avoid running-related injuries. Her body language indicated that she was in a rush to go, so I didn't bother going for the number.
On the way home, I stopped off at Barnes & Noble to take a look around. I saw this nice-looking Asian woman, so I approached her. I told her that I liked her hair, that the bow in her hair was cute. The bow should have been a warning. It turns out she's going to be a junior in high school. Whoops! So, I switched gears and asked her if she has figured out what she wants to do for college and if she's taken the SATs yet. At the end of the conversation, I told her to put her number in my phone and I'll text her in 2 years. Just kidding on that last sentence.
While I was there, I decided to go next door to Metcalfe's. I saw a woman with cool-looking hair standing over by the salad bar, so I approached her. Apparently she works at Barnes & Noble and I'm guessing was on her lunch break. I asked her if she was in college and she said that she had been a biology major, but that wasn't her thing. She's not sure what she wants to study next. She also seemed to be in a bit of a rush, so I didn't get to talk to her long.
So 4 approaches today. Two of them cases where the woman seemed to be in a rush, so I didn't really get a chance to go for a number. One woman just lived too far away, and one was too young. Also, if I'm honest, I'm still kinda thinking about the woman I met the other day in HyVee with the Pensacola shirt. I was doing approaches because they're fun, but I didn't feel really motivated to try to ask for a number. Weird.
My first approach was at the Hilldale Target. While grabbing some sticky-tack, I saw this woman that had cute hair, kinda between jaw-length and shoulder-length. So I went and told her that I liked her hair. The cool thing about this is that I could tell by her reaction that she was very pleasantly surprised by the compliment. That was really cool. I introduced myself and I noticed that she had a great handshake. I found out that she's a family doctor in Oshkosh. I talked with her a little bit and she casually mentioned that she had a boyfriend. Between her living far away and having a boyfriend, I decided against asking for her number. I probably should have, just for practice.
My second approach was at Michael's. They were having a sale on canvasses and I wanted to get more to work on my new art project (stenciling.) I saw a woman across the way who looked rather fit and had her hair up in a sporty pony tail. It looked cool, but logistics weren't on my side. I walked around for a bit, just looking at stuff, and while I was in the paint section, she was basically pushing her cart into my path. So, I decided fate wanted me to approach. I found out that she teaches pre-school and does yoga. I asked her about yoga, because I've been thinking about getting into it, as a way to avoid running-related injuries. Her body language indicated that she was in a rush to go, so I didn't bother going for the number.
On the way home, I stopped off at Barnes & Noble to take a look around. I saw this nice-looking Asian woman, so I approached her. I told her that I liked her hair, that the bow in her hair was cute. The bow should have been a warning. It turns out she's going to be a junior in high school. Whoops! So, I switched gears and asked her if she has figured out what she wants to do for college and if she's taken the SATs yet. At the end of the conversation, I told her to put her number in my phone and I'll text her in 2 years. Just kidding on that last sentence.
While I was there, I decided to go next door to Metcalfe's. I saw a woman with cool-looking hair standing over by the salad bar, so I approached her. Apparently she works at Barnes & Noble and I'm guessing was on her lunch break. I asked her if she was in college and she said that she had been a biology major, but that wasn't her thing. She's not sure what she wants to study next. She also seemed to be in a bit of a rush, so I didn't get to talk to her long.
So 4 approaches today. Two of them cases where the woman seemed to be in a rush, so I didn't really get a chance to go for a number. One woman just lived too far away, and one was too young. Also, if I'm honest, I'm still kinda thinking about the woman I met the other day in HyVee with the Pensacola shirt. I was doing approaches because they're fun, but I didn't feel really motivated to try to ask for a number. Weird.
Saturday, August 10, 2013
Day 10
Only did two approaches today. I was focused more on getting supplies for a new art project I want to work on.
My first approach was at Barnes and Noble. I went with the phrase: "you look elegant." The woman seemed surprised that I would say that to her and said thank you. I asked her what she did, and she said she's a student, studying actuarial science. This deals with probability, relating to the insurance industry. We talked a bit about being math nerds, since I also studied math in college. I found out that she likes movies and reading. I told her that she was really easy to talk to and asked her to put her number in my phone so that we could talk again. I got her number and then talked with her a little big longer, then said goodbye.
My second approach was at HyVee. I looked around for a woman that I could actually use that line on and not seem like I was being sarcastic. I saw a woman that actually looked elegant, so I approached her. I found out that she's an anchor for a local news station. I won't say which one, because I don't want to reveal any identifying details about the women I approach. She was nice, but was in a rush to get back to the station, so we didn't have long to talk.
My first approach was at Barnes and Noble. I went with the phrase: "you look elegant." The woman seemed surprised that I would say that to her and said thank you. I asked her what she did, and she said she's a student, studying actuarial science. This deals with probability, relating to the insurance industry. We talked a bit about being math nerds, since I also studied math in college. I found out that she likes movies and reading. I told her that she was really easy to talk to and asked her to put her number in my phone so that we could talk again. I got her number and then talked with her a little big longer, then said goodbye.
My second approach was at HyVee. I looked around for a woman that I could actually use that line on and not seem like I was being sarcastic. I saw a woman that actually looked elegant, so I approached her. I found out that she's an anchor for a local news station. I won't say which one, because I don't want to reveal any identifying details about the women I approach. She was nice, but was in a rush to get back to the station, so we didn't have long to talk.
Friday, August 9, 2013
Day 9
With today taken care of, I successfully made it through my on-call week while still getting my challenge taken care of. Two approaches for today:
The first one was at Metcalfe's at West Town (yes, I know, broken record, but again, limited time = no time to be cute and experiment. Stick with what works!) She was at a display giving free samples of wine. I said hello and she asked if I wanted a sample. I told her I was too young to drink. Then I laughed it off and started talking to her about the wine. She seemed friendly, so I asked her to tell me about her. I found out that she's originally from Chicago and she likes country music. An interesting combination, no doubt. She was telling me how she likes going to country concerts and how there's one coming up soon. I said to her: "you should invite me to go with you." At that point she said: "well, we'd have to go with my boyfriend." I didn't let it phase me, I just replied: "well, we could get a big group together and go." The conversation wasn't really going anywhere after that, so I said goodbye and went on my way.
The second one was at HyVee (yes, I know... I know...) I walked around for a bit, then I saw this woman wearing a shirt that said "Pensacola, Florida" on it. I remarked on the shirt (so I guess I like your shirt was my phrase for today.) I asked her if she was from Pensacola, but she said she was just visiting a friend there. We talked about that for a bit, then I asked her to tell me about herself. She works as a daycare teacher, which she's been doing for about 6 years. She seemed like such a sweetheart, a woman after my own heart. She moved to Madison back in October and is still trying to see more of the town. I asked her if she bikes and/or runs and she said she's trying to get into it. I figured that was a good time to mention that I have a running group. We talked about that for a bit, along with biking around town as a good way to explore. She was really easy to talk to, and super sweet. I asked her to put her number in my phone so we could talk again. This was a great conversation. She's the kind of girl I want to find, sweet and kind. Just a pleasure to talk to and be around (in the few minutes that I was around her.)
The first one was at Metcalfe's at West Town (yes, I know, broken record, but again, limited time = no time to be cute and experiment. Stick with what works!) She was at a display giving free samples of wine. I said hello and she asked if I wanted a sample. I told her I was too young to drink. Then I laughed it off and started talking to her about the wine. She seemed friendly, so I asked her to tell me about her. I found out that she's originally from Chicago and she likes country music. An interesting combination, no doubt. She was telling me how she likes going to country concerts and how there's one coming up soon. I said to her: "you should invite me to go with you." At that point she said: "well, we'd have to go with my boyfriend." I didn't let it phase me, I just replied: "well, we could get a big group together and go." The conversation wasn't really going anywhere after that, so I said goodbye and went on my way.
The second one was at HyVee (yes, I know... I know...) I walked around for a bit, then I saw this woman wearing a shirt that said "Pensacola, Florida" on it. I remarked on the shirt (so I guess I like your shirt was my phrase for today.) I asked her if she was from Pensacola, but she said she was just visiting a friend there. We talked about that for a bit, then I asked her to tell me about herself. She works as a daycare teacher, which she's been doing for about 6 years. She seemed like such a sweetheart, a woman after my own heart. She moved to Madison back in October and is still trying to see more of the town. I asked her if she bikes and/or runs and she said she's trying to get into it. I figured that was a good time to mention that I have a running group. We talked about that for a bit, along with biking around town as a good way to explore. She was really easy to talk to, and super sweet. I asked her to put her number in my phone so we could talk again. This was a great conversation. She's the kind of girl I want to find, sweet and kind. Just a pleasure to talk to and be around (in the few minutes that I was around her.)
Thursday, August 8, 2013
Day 8
Only one approach to post about today. After I got home, I walked over to HyVee. I walked around for a bit and took stock of who was out shopping, when I saw this woman with bright red hair. I had to go talk to her. So, I approached her and told her that her hair was really cool. She asked me who I go to for my hair and I was like "oh, you're a hairstylist, that makes sense." She gave me her business card for her salon. Then I asked her what she did aside from being a hairstylist and she said she's a model. She seemed like a pretty cool person. I asked her for her number, but she chose not to give it to me. As I was walking back home, I thought to myself: "You should have said that if she can't trust me with her number, then she can't expect me to trust her with me hair." Oh well, a nice case of l'esprit d'escalier.
Day 7
The phrase of the day was: "You look like someone I had to come talk to"
On the way home I hit up Metcalfe's over by West Towne. Yes, I know I hit the same places regularly, but considering I have limited time when I'm on-call, I need to go where I know I'll find women to approach. No time for any of that clever stuff. I saw a woman that looked nice, so I approached her. She said she was married. I totally missed the ring on her finger. However, as a sign of how far I've come, I didn't let it ruffle my feathers. Instead, I said "oh, that's cool, I just like meeting new people." We talked for a bit about how she's a special education major and how I used to teach for 3 years. It was a good conversation. I didn't try for the number, though.
I stopped off at home, changed into regular clothes, then walked over to HyVee. While there, I saw a woman that looked like she was around college age, so I approached her. I found out that she's studying business in college and had recently started selling Amway (oh, I don't think the poor girl knows what she's getting into with that!) I used that as my angle to get her number, since she was trying to recruit me to her "team." (Fat chance of that happening, but I will take your number, thank you!) Of course, with the promise of a new recruit, I was able to get her number, getting me back on track.
Two approaches for the day wasn't bad, considering my limited time.
On the way home I hit up Metcalfe's over by West Towne. Yes, I know I hit the same places regularly, but considering I have limited time when I'm on-call, I need to go where I know I'll find women to approach. No time for any of that clever stuff. I saw a woman that looked nice, so I approached her. She said she was married. I totally missed the ring on her finger. However, as a sign of how far I've come, I didn't let it ruffle my feathers. Instead, I said "oh, that's cool, I just like meeting new people." We talked for a bit about how she's a special education major and how I used to teach for 3 years. It was a good conversation. I didn't try for the number, though.
I stopped off at home, changed into regular clothes, then walked over to HyVee. While there, I saw a woman that looked like she was around college age, so I approached her. I found out that she's studying business in college and had recently started selling Amway (oh, I don't think the poor girl knows what she's getting into with that!) I used that as my angle to get her number, since she was trying to recruit me to her "team." (Fat chance of that happening, but I will take your number, thank you!) Of course, with the promise of a new recruit, I was able to get her number, getting me back on track.
Two approaches for the day wasn't bad, considering my limited time.
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Day 6
Not a spectacular day, challenge-wise, but I have to take what I can get during weeks I am on-call. At least I got two approaches in today.
My phrase for today was: "You look friendly"
I went to West Towne for lunch with some co-workers. My food was really hot when I got it, so I decided to go for a walk to let it cool down. I saw a woman coming out of a shop, so I approached her. She said that she was in a rush, because she was on her lunch break. I went back to eat my food. A few minutes later she comes to the food court and sits down. I told my co-workers about it and we had a good laugh at the situation.
After I got home, I walked over to HyVee to get a little exercise in, and so that I wouldn't have to deal with traffic. I approached a woman and she seemed really nice. We talked about what she does for a living and our hobbies. I told her that she was really easy to talk to and I said we should talk again. I asked for her number, but she politely declined.
That's it for today. My number streak was broken, but it's not for lack of trying.
My phrase for today was: "You look friendly"
I went to West Towne for lunch with some co-workers. My food was really hot when I got it, so I decided to go for a walk to let it cool down. I saw a woman coming out of a shop, so I approached her. She said that she was in a rush, because she was on her lunch break. I went back to eat my food. A few minutes later she comes to the food court and sits down. I told my co-workers about it and we had a good laugh at the situation.
After I got home, I walked over to HyVee to get a little exercise in, and so that I wouldn't have to deal with traffic. I approached a woman and she seemed really nice. We talked about what she does for a living and our hobbies. I told her that she was really easy to talk to and I said we should talk again. I asked for her number, but she politely declined.
That's it for today. My number streak was broken, but it's not for lack of trying.
Monday, August 5, 2013
Day 5
I'm on-call for work this week, so I didn't have a lot of time to do this.
Phrase of the day: "I like your vibe"
On the way home from work, I stopped at Office Max to get something. Afterward, I went over to Metcalfe's (the one by West Towne) to get a few things. I saw this woman that looked sweet, so I went up and told her that I like her vibe, that she seemed like a sweet person. We talked a bit about what she does. She's a nurse, which I seem to be a magnet for lately. We didn't have long to talk, because I actually approached her while she was in line at the checkout. I wouldn't normally do that, but I knew this would be the last place I would be able to go before I went home, so I had to go for it. It was cool though, because at one point she actually let a woman go in front of her while she talked to me. I asked her for her number, then texted her to make sure she had my number (mostly because it seems like I've gotten a few fake numbers recently.)
Not a bad day, considering I only had about 20 minutes to work on this.
So far, I've gotten a number every day except for the first day, and because I got two on Sunday I'm averaging 1 a day.
Phrase of the day: "I like your vibe"
On the way home from work, I stopped at Office Max to get something. Afterward, I went over to Metcalfe's (the one by West Towne) to get a few things. I saw this woman that looked sweet, so I went up and told her that I like her vibe, that she seemed like a sweet person. We talked a bit about what she does. She's a nurse, which I seem to be a magnet for lately. We didn't have long to talk, because I actually approached her while she was in line at the checkout. I wouldn't normally do that, but I knew this would be the last place I would be able to go before I went home, so I had to go for it. It was cool though, because at one point she actually let a woman go in front of her while she talked to me. I asked her for her number, then texted her to make sure she had my number (mostly because it seems like I've gotten a few fake numbers recently.)
Not a bad day, considering I only had about 20 minutes to work on this.
So far, I've gotten a number every day except for the first day, and because I got two on Sunday I'm averaging 1 a day.
Sunday, August 4, 2013
Day 4
I'll start out with the good news. I hit a personal record for women approached (5) and numbers (2).
The line for the day: "I like your style"
Granted, I only used this a few times, so some of these are "extra-curricular" approaches, but sometimes you have to adapt to the situation.
I started out by going over to Greenway Station. I wanted to get a few more canvasses to work on, because I've started to enjoy this outlet. I got some smaller ones to work with.
I went to World Market first, and as I walked in, there was this really sweet woman at the front giving out baskets. I walked around for a bit, and saw her in the back putting some merchandise on shelves. I decided to go talk to her. I went up to her and said: "I'm sorry for interrupting you, but I just have to ask, are you really that sweet, or is it just part of the job?" We joked around for a bit about that, then I asked her if she was in school. She's studying human and family development. We talked for a little about that and I then I said that I had to go, but I told her to put her number in my phone so that we could talk later. She put her number in there and I talked to her for another minute or two, then said goodbye.
I went over to Marshalls, just to take a look around. I found a cool shirt that said Miami South Beach on it, so being a native Miamian, I had to buy it. While in line, I noticed that the woman in front of me was buying running shorts, so I had to ask if she was a runner. She said that she was a beginning runner, trying to get into it. Then, they called her up to the register. Another register opened up right after, and I was able to pay for my stuff before she finished, so I went over and continued the conversation. I then told her about the running group and gave her my card and told her about the benefits of running with a group. Granted, this isn't a traditional approach as part of my challenge, but again, extra-curriculars.
Later in the afternoon, I went over to Hilldale. While in Target, I saw this woman that I had to approach. She looked very Miami, so I finally had a chance to use my "I like your style" line. I asked her if she was from the Caribbean, but it turns out she's from Madison. I complimented her on being outside the midwestern box. She told me that for fun she just walks around Target. I was like "are you serious, or just joking with me?" Apparently, she actually does walk around Target for fun. I told her that I make it a point to meet someone if I'm walking around in Target, because you have to be bold and take risks. We talked about that for a bit, then I told her that I liked talking to her and wanted to talk to her again. I told her to put her number in my phone. She said she was in a serious relationship. I told her it's cool, I just like making new friends. I could tell she was still on the fence, so I tried breaking it down logically. That was my fatal mistake. Logic failed me.
While walking back to my car, I saw a woman sitting on a bench waiting for the bus. I stopped and talked to her for a bit. She is a nursing student, so I related that to my time as a teacher. We talked for a bit more, but then her bus came. I tried to get her number, but she was hesitant, probably because I didn't really have time to talk and get her comfortable with that Stupid bus.
On the way home, I stopped off at HyVee to get some food for the week. While there I saw a woman that had a sort of classy look, but yet casual. I approached her and told her that I like her style, that it's sort of classy yet casual. We joked for a bit about cookies and how she likes to eat them (we were on the cookie aisle.) I asked her for her number and she said "I'm not sure how my boyfriend would like that." I told her it's cool, I just like making new friends, plus she probably has some single friends that would like to meet an interesting guy. She gave me her number.
That makes it 10 total approaches over 4 days. I've gotten 4 numbers already, which is just one shy of my entire total from last month. I think the kid is getting better at this. All-in-all, not a bad start to August. Fortune favors the bold!
The line for the day: "I like your style"
Granted, I only used this a few times, so some of these are "extra-curricular" approaches, but sometimes you have to adapt to the situation.
I started out by going over to Greenway Station. I wanted to get a few more canvasses to work on, because I've started to enjoy this outlet. I got some smaller ones to work with.
I went to World Market first, and as I walked in, there was this really sweet woman at the front giving out baskets. I walked around for a bit, and saw her in the back putting some merchandise on shelves. I decided to go talk to her. I went up to her and said: "I'm sorry for interrupting you, but I just have to ask, are you really that sweet, or is it just part of the job?" We joked around for a bit about that, then I asked her if she was in school. She's studying human and family development. We talked for a little about that and I then I said that I had to go, but I told her to put her number in my phone so that we could talk later. She put her number in there and I talked to her for another minute or two, then said goodbye.
I went over to Marshalls, just to take a look around. I found a cool shirt that said Miami South Beach on it, so being a native Miamian, I had to buy it. While in line, I noticed that the woman in front of me was buying running shorts, so I had to ask if she was a runner. She said that she was a beginning runner, trying to get into it. Then, they called her up to the register. Another register opened up right after, and I was able to pay for my stuff before she finished, so I went over and continued the conversation. I then told her about the running group and gave her my card and told her about the benefits of running with a group. Granted, this isn't a traditional approach as part of my challenge, but again, extra-curriculars.
Later in the afternoon, I went over to Hilldale. While in Target, I saw this woman that I had to approach. She looked very Miami, so I finally had a chance to use my "I like your style" line. I asked her if she was from the Caribbean, but it turns out she's from Madison. I complimented her on being outside the midwestern box. She told me that for fun she just walks around Target. I was like "are you serious, or just joking with me?" Apparently, she actually does walk around Target for fun. I told her that I make it a point to meet someone if I'm walking around in Target, because you have to be bold and take risks. We talked about that for a bit, then I told her that I liked talking to her and wanted to talk to her again. I told her to put her number in my phone. She said she was in a serious relationship. I told her it's cool, I just like making new friends. I could tell she was still on the fence, so I tried breaking it down logically. That was my fatal mistake. Logic failed me.
While walking back to my car, I saw a woman sitting on a bench waiting for the bus. I stopped and talked to her for a bit. She is a nursing student, so I related that to my time as a teacher. We talked for a bit more, but then her bus came. I tried to get her number, but she was hesitant, probably because I didn't really have time to talk and get her comfortable with that Stupid bus.
On the way home, I stopped off at HyVee to get some food for the week. While there I saw a woman that had a sort of classy look, but yet casual. I approached her and told her that I like her style, that it's sort of classy yet casual. We joked for a bit about cookies and how she likes to eat them (we were on the cookie aisle.) I asked her for her number and she said "I'm not sure how my boyfriend would like that." I told her it's cool, I just like making new friends, plus she probably has some single friends that would like to meet an interesting guy. She gave me her number.
That makes it 10 total approaches over 4 days. I've gotten 4 numbers already, which is just one shy of my entire total from last month. I think the kid is getting better at this. All-in-all, not a bad start to August. Fortune favors the bold!
Saturday, August 3, 2013
Day 3
My phrase for the day was "you look really sweet."
I tried to hit Greenway Station, but there wasn't much going on there, so I went over to Hilldale. I talked to a girl in Target. She's a freshman in college that's studying to be a nurse. I don't know why, but it seems like I've talked to a lot of nurses lately. Not that I'm complaining. Anyway, we talked for a bit, and I said that I liked talking to her and that it would be nice to meet up for coffee, so I asked for her number. She declined, so I went on my way.
I had to go into work today to work on some stuff, so on the way in to work, I decided to try the Target on Junction, since I hadn't tried doing my challenge there yet. I met a woman that works as a social worker at a hospital. I talked to her for a bit, relating my time as a teacher to her job as a social worker, as they both are rewarding jobs that help people. Then I said that I had to get going, but that I'd like to talk to her again. I asked for her number. She said that she was seeing someone, so I said that it's cool, I just like meeting people. She gave me her number.
That makes it two numbers in 3 days of doing the challenge. I'm on pace to do really well this month. That motivates me to get out there and do this more and keep the challenge going. I can't wait for tomorrow!
I tried to hit Greenway Station, but there wasn't much going on there, so I went over to Hilldale. I talked to a girl in Target. She's a freshman in college that's studying to be a nurse. I don't know why, but it seems like I've talked to a lot of nurses lately. Not that I'm complaining. Anyway, we talked for a bit, and I said that I liked talking to her and that it would be nice to meet up for coffee, so I asked for her number. She declined, so I went on my way.
I had to go into work today to work on some stuff, so on the way in to work, I decided to try the Target on Junction, since I hadn't tried doing my challenge there yet. I met a woman that works as a social worker at a hospital. I talked to her for a bit, relating my time as a teacher to her job as a social worker, as they both are rewarding jobs that help people. Then I said that I had to get going, but that I'd like to talk to her again. I asked for her number. She said that she was seeing someone, so I said that it's cool, I just like meeting people. She gave me her number.
That makes it two numbers in 3 days of doing the challenge. I'm on pace to do really well this month. That motivates me to get out there and do this more and keep the challenge going. I can't wait for tomorrow!
Friday, August 2, 2013
Day 2
My phrase for today is "you're gorgeous!"
On the way home from work, I stopped off at Metcalfe's by West Towne. I walked around for a bit, but there wasn't really anyone to approach. I paid for my stuff and left.
I stopped off at the HyVee before I went home and walked around a bit. I saw a nice-looking woman walking down the aisle, so I said "excuse me" and delivered my opener. Right away she said "Thank you, but I have a boyfriend." I just brushed it off, saying: "that's cool, I just like meeting new people." She told me that she works for a lobbying firm. We talked about her work, and how she got to go to Washington DC and meet some of the politicians there. Then she said she had to go and excused herself.
I came home and made dinner, then went to Hilldale. I didn't see anyone to approach while walking around the mall part, so I made my way over to Target. I saw a few different women that I could approach, so I decided to make a round, before I committed to a woman. While doing this, I saw this one woman that I thought about approaching, but I decided against it, as I was still making my rounds. I started back at the beginning, but now all of the women that I saw that I could approach were gone. So I continued to walk around. I saw the one woman again, but I decided again not to approach and kept looking. My options were growing slim, though. I wandered around for a bit, growing more frustrated, as I didn't see anyone that I could approach. I was walking through the section that has stuff for showers and bathroom, when I saw the woman again. I decided this time to go for it this time. Since I had seen her a few times already, and she'd probably seen me too, I decided to mention that. I said that I wasn't going to do this, but I decided I just had to come talk to her and find out more about her. So I asked her what she does, and she told me she was a nurse. We talked about that for a bit, then she asked me what I do. We talked about biking, and how neither of us had gone around Lake Monona this year. She told me she was in the process of moving, and was a little tired from that. We got on the subject of Orlando and the Disney theme parks and some older guy jumped into our conversation, talking about how it was a swamp before Disney built the parks. That could have derailed my conversation with the woman, but I didn't let that happen. When it seemed like the natural point to exit the conversation, I told her that she seemed really nice and that I felt really at ease and comfortable talking to her and that I'd like to talk to her again. I had her program her number into my phone. This also helped me out, because I had forgotten her name. Hey, I was thinking about where I wanted the conversation to go. I need to really try harder to remember the name, because that's happened to me a few times. Then, after she programmed her number in, I talked with her a little bit longer. She asked me what I was getting at Target, so we talked about that. Then I said that it looks like she was getting stuff for the new apartment. We talked for a few more minutes, then said goodbye and went our separate ways.
All-in-all this was a pretty good day. Getting a number this early in the month is a good way to start. Especially considering that this is the first day that I was really able to try. Yesterday, I was basically just trying to get one in, since I didn't have much time.
On the way home from work, I stopped off at Metcalfe's by West Towne. I walked around for a bit, but there wasn't really anyone to approach. I paid for my stuff and left.
I stopped off at the HyVee before I went home and walked around a bit. I saw a nice-looking woman walking down the aisle, so I said "excuse me" and delivered my opener. Right away she said "Thank you, but I have a boyfriend." I just brushed it off, saying: "that's cool, I just like meeting new people." She told me that she works for a lobbying firm. We talked about her work, and how she got to go to Washington DC and meet some of the politicians there. Then she said she had to go and excused herself.
I came home and made dinner, then went to Hilldale. I didn't see anyone to approach while walking around the mall part, so I made my way over to Target. I saw a few different women that I could approach, so I decided to make a round, before I committed to a woman. While doing this, I saw this one woman that I thought about approaching, but I decided against it, as I was still making my rounds. I started back at the beginning, but now all of the women that I saw that I could approach were gone. So I continued to walk around. I saw the one woman again, but I decided again not to approach and kept looking. My options were growing slim, though. I wandered around for a bit, growing more frustrated, as I didn't see anyone that I could approach. I was walking through the section that has stuff for showers and bathroom, when I saw the woman again. I decided this time to go for it this time. Since I had seen her a few times already, and she'd probably seen me too, I decided to mention that. I said that I wasn't going to do this, but I decided I just had to come talk to her and find out more about her. So I asked her what she does, and she told me she was a nurse. We talked about that for a bit, then she asked me what I do. We talked about biking, and how neither of us had gone around Lake Monona this year. She told me she was in the process of moving, and was a little tired from that. We got on the subject of Orlando and the Disney theme parks and some older guy jumped into our conversation, talking about how it was a swamp before Disney built the parks. That could have derailed my conversation with the woman, but I didn't let that happen. When it seemed like the natural point to exit the conversation, I told her that she seemed really nice and that I felt really at ease and comfortable talking to her and that I'd like to talk to her again. I had her program her number into my phone. This also helped me out, because I had forgotten her name. Hey, I was thinking about where I wanted the conversation to go. I need to really try harder to remember the name, because that's happened to me a few times. Then, after she programmed her number in, I talked with her a little bit longer. She asked me what I was getting at Target, so we talked about that. Then I said that it looks like she was getting stuff for the new apartment. We talked for a few more minutes, then said goodbye and went our separate ways.
All-in-all this was a pretty good day. Getting a number this early in the month is a good way to start. Especially considering that this is the first day that I was really able to try. Yesterday, I was basically just trying to get one in, since I didn't have much time.
Thursday, August 1, 2013
Day 1
I got a late start to the day, because I was out celebrating a friend's birthday. So, on the way home I stopped by HyVee. Sadly, there wasn't anyone there that I could approach. So, I paid for my stuff and was on my way out, and wouldn't you know it, there were a few potential targets in the produce section that I could see as I was on my way out. I guess the universe just wanted to eff with me a little bit.
I stopped off at home to drop off my groceries, since I had a few things that needed to be refrigerated. I made my way to Target @ Hilldale, because that seems to be a good place to go if it's later in the evening. I was throwing a hail mary, but I had hit the 2-minute warning and switched to my hurry-up offense. While in Target, I wandered around a bit and eventually saw someone I could approach. She was a young-looking Asian woman, kind of short and petite. I approached her using my line of the day: "I think you're really cute." She seemed to appreciate the compliment, and I went into asking her about herself. She's a pharmacy student 2 years into her graduate degree. We talked about yoga and Harry Potter. I impressed her with my knowledge of Harry Potter, I think. The conversation went really well, so I went for a number, but she said she had a boyfriend. I told her that's cool, I just like making friends, but she said that she didn't think he would like that. Oh well, at least she was honest with me before giving me her number.
That's all for today, but at least I got my one in for the day. Tomorrow, it will be a new opening.
I stopped off at home to drop off my groceries, since I had a few things that needed to be refrigerated. I made my way to Target @ Hilldale, because that seems to be a good place to go if it's later in the evening. I was throwing a hail mary, but I had hit the 2-minute warning and switched to my hurry-up offense. While in Target, I wandered around a bit and eventually saw someone I could approach. She was a young-looking Asian woman, kind of short and petite. I approached her using my line of the day: "I think you're really cute." She seemed to appreciate the compliment, and I went into asking her about herself. She's a pharmacy student 2 years into her graduate degree. We talked about yoga and Harry Potter. I impressed her with my knowledge of Harry Potter, I think. The conversation went really well, so I went for a number, but she said she had a boyfriend. I told her that's cool, I just like making friends, but she said that she didn't think he would like that. Oh well, at least she was honest with me before giving me her number.
That's all for today, but at least I got my one in for the day. Tomorrow, it will be a new opening.
August 30 Day Challenge Kick-off!
It's the first day of August and that means it's time for a new challenge, and time to reflect on last month. For July, I made 39 approaches. This is down a bit from the 43 I made in June, but the July challenge was harder, and there were a few days where I was out of town and busy with my sister's wedding. All-in-all, it was a good month. I made a lot of personal progress.
Since this is the first time blogging my experiences, here's an explanation of my challenges, as well as a recap of the 3 that I've done so far:
In late April, I decided that I wanted to be more social and get out and meet people. I had heard about a thing for awhile called the rejection challenge. This is where you get rejected every day, the idea being that you learn that rejection isn't a big deal. That sounded like a great idea, but I wanted something a little different. I decided that instead of getting rejected every day, I wanted to meet a new person every day. So, I decided that for the month of May, I would do a 30-day challenge. My challenge was that I had to meet a new person every day. I had a few rules:
1. It couldn't be in places like bars or clubs, where it is more normal to meet new people
2. It had to be in every-day places like grocery stores, stores like Target, malls, parks, places like that.
3. It couldn't be someone that worked at a store, because they kind of have to be nice to you.
4. Meeting someone meant that I got their name.
I remember the first night doing my May challenge. I was walking around the Target in Fitchburg, nervous about approaching a random stranger. I was pretty far outside my comfort zone. I was standing over by the book section, when I saw a woman that looked nice. I asked her about a few books, talked to her for a little bit, then asked her for her name. Success! It was pretty hard for about a week or so, then I was a little more at ease just talking to a random stranger.
After my May challenge was over, I decided that I wanted to take it a step further. I saw on facebook that a woman had posted that a man had come up to her at a gas station and told her that she was beautiful. She said that it made her day. I thought that sounded really cool, so I made that my June challenge. Every day in June, I had to tell at least one woman that I think she's beautiful. I ended up telling 43 different women that they are beautiful. However, I noticed that a lot of the conversations didn't really go much further than telling them that they're beautiful, so I decided that would be the next step in my evolution.
For my July challenge, I decided that I would compliment a woman on something specific to her, engage her in conversation (or try to,) and then try to get her number. I ended up making 39 approaches this month. I got 5 phone numbers and 2 email addresses. Not a great total, but I'm still new at this.
The August challenge is going to be about experimentation. It will be the same as the July challenge, except I will be using a different opening line every day. I want to see if I can beat my total of 5 phone numbers. I'll post daily updates here. Stay tuned!
Since this is the first time blogging my experiences, here's an explanation of my challenges, as well as a recap of the 3 that I've done so far:
In late April, I decided that I wanted to be more social and get out and meet people. I had heard about a thing for awhile called the rejection challenge. This is where you get rejected every day, the idea being that you learn that rejection isn't a big deal. That sounded like a great idea, but I wanted something a little different. I decided that instead of getting rejected every day, I wanted to meet a new person every day. So, I decided that for the month of May, I would do a 30-day challenge. My challenge was that I had to meet a new person every day. I had a few rules:
1. It couldn't be in places like bars or clubs, where it is more normal to meet new people
2. It had to be in every-day places like grocery stores, stores like Target, malls, parks, places like that.
3. It couldn't be someone that worked at a store, because they kind of have to be nice to you.
4. Meeting someone meant that I got their name.
I remember the first night doing my May challenge. I was walking around the Target in Fitchburg, nervous about approaching a random stranger. I was pretty far outside my comfort zone. I was standing over by the book section, when I saw a woman that looked nice. I asked her about a few books, talked to her for a little bit, then asked her for her name. Success! It was pretty hard for about a week or so, then I was a little more at ease just talking to a random stranger.
After my May challenge was over, I decided that I wanted to take it a step further. I saw on facebook that a woman had posted that a man had come up to her at a gas station and told her that she was beautiful. She said that it made her day. I thought that sounded really cool, so I made that my June challenge. Every day in June, I had to tell at least one woman that I think she's beautiful. I ended up telling 43 different women that they are beautiful. However, I noticed that a lot of the conversations didn't really go much further than telling them that they're beautiful, so I decided that would be the next step in my evolution.
For my July challenge, I decided that I would compliment a woman on something specific to her, engage her in conversation (or try to,) and then try to get her number. I ended up making 39 approaches this month. I got 5 phone numbers and 2 email addresses. Not a great total, but I'm still new at this.
The August challenge is going to be about experimentation. It will be the same as the July challenge, except I will be using a different opening line every day. I want to see if I can beat my total of 5 phone numbers. I'll post daily updates here. Stay tuned!
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